Super Random Acts of Simple Kindness

Saturday, December 24, 2005

With an "every man for himself" dogma in this super material world dominated by superficiality, super egos and selfishness, I remain optimistic. Yes, I would still like to believe in the existence of simple random acts of kindness whether from people known or unknown, close or distant to me. Often it comes when we least expect it. It comes in the disguise of a small gesture. It certainly is possible to give or help expecting nothing in return and not having to offer any explanation, reason or justification. It's not really about my being too much of an idealist. Rather, it's believing in the potential good that we all innately possess - which, for some of us, may have just been misplaced or lost. I believe that there is such a thing as giving or helping freely simply because we want to - nothing more, nothing less. More than the big and extravagant things, it's those simple random acts of kindess that make us feel good all over and doesn't it make you just want to pay that super good feeling forward for others to experience as well?

Are you feeling Christmas?

Friday, December 23, 2005

Gosh, tomorrow is Christmas Eve already. Sure, ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin but I'm not feeling it yet though. Maybe it's because I've started working already - meaning too preoccupied with work and no more long vacations OR maybe it's because Christmas falls on a weekend this year - meaning shortened (already short) vacations OR I don't know maybe the subtle signs of aging are possibly starting to gradually manifest itself already - meaning I'm becoming more corny and more of a killjoy (yikes!). Just the same with or without the excitement or whatever fuzzy feeling, I still welcome Christmas with open arms. It's that time of the year when I truly feel so blessed and thankful for family and friends and for everything in spite and despite of.

Traffic Resolution 101

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I own a driver's license but I don't drive because my dad doesn't allow me and okay, I admittedly still need to practice. However, from a concerned "passenger's" point of view, here's my two cents worth of unsolicited advice to MMDA's infamous Bayani Fernando. Countless observations have led me to the inference that the culprits to Manila's worsening traffic condition are those traffic enforcers whose purpose is basically to just either stand there, do nothing or serve as street adornments and how could those more often than not almost half-empty humongous buses not catch my ire, oops, my eye was what I meant to say.

(1) In fairness to those blue men in uniform, some of them do serve some purpose. To a certain degree, some of them may have somehow helped in alleviating Manila traffic. However, there are some who are utterly useless and stupid. What I hate most is when they just stand there doing nothing to stop an intersection from getting blocked or clogged just because the stoplight on one side says green. Another thing is their habit of letting all the cars on one side pass first for what seems like eternity and sometimes traffic isn't even that heavy on that side of the road. Geez luiz!

(2) A no loading and unloading regulation should be strictly implemented all throughout Edsa. Those buses just start to boldy queue along Edsa waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting (okay, you get the point) to load passengers as if Edsa was some parking lot or bus terminal. Fyi, Edsa is a freaking highway! The number of buses allowed in Edsa should be limited to not more than what is needed at a given period of time. They should learn a thing or two from the organized bus routes of other countries (e.g. Hong Kong or Singapore).

What frustrates me really is getting stuck in Edsa traffic just to get home. I get stuck in Edsa traffic usually from Makati, all the way to Guadalupe, Edsa Central and Mega Mall only to find out that there usually isn't any traffic going to San Juan or Cubao. Those damn buses!

Here I go again...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I think I have a problem. I think I think too much.

You think?

Yadi Yada Yada

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Sometimes I think too much non-sense. Sheesh.

Who's that Stupid?

Monday, December 05, 2005

I got this text this morning. What a hoax...

Congrats! your celfone# has won! Jackpot prize 2MILLION PAMASKONG HANDOG ng PCSO ELECT DRAW HOMEPARTNER DTI-NCR#0906. 4more info pls call, Mngr: Juan Perez Ds#.

Maybe I just liked the idea of winning that I almost fell for it - probably only for a minute or less but I didn't do anything about it for obvious reasons. It would have been nice though if it was the real deal.

Would you have fallen for it?

The Rainbow Effect

Saturday, December 03, 2005

I saw a rainbow today (while stuck in traffic at the Edsa to San Juan flyover). Rainbows are such a rare sight. According to Science, rainbows are made by light and refraction but I'm not really sure since that was all that I remembered my Grade 7 Science teacher saying. Despite my lack of scientific knowledge, I've always had this fascination with rainbows. There's nothing really grandiose about it but every time I see one, I'm always amazed and awestruck. Really, it never fails to brighten my day and make me put on a huge grin =)))). There's something about rainbows that have an inexplicable effect on me - just WOW.

No.24

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Happy Birthday to me (and Clarisse). We went all the way to Tagaytay to have lunch at Antonio's. Traffic was really bad today but it was worth it. The place was different but really nice. It had a good feel to it - almost relaxing and refreshing. The food was delicious. We were all so full! The place was so out of the way but I wouldn't mind coming back at all. I don't want to go all sentimental and do the reflection thing (on my turning a year older) so I think I'll keep it all to myself for now.

Whatever

Friday, October 28, 2005

If people have a problem with me and they can't or they don't want to say it to my face, it's not going to be my problem anymore. I'm not even going to try to second guess. I don't want to go through the trouble of worrying too much and end up multiplying my worries ten times more. So I've resolved to free myself from the burden of worrying about perceptions and more so, trying to change perceptions. It's only a matter of being comfortable in your own skin regardless of other people's varying opinions of you for as long as you know you're not stepping on anybody's toes.

Faith

Friday, September 30, 2005

There are no accidents in God's plan. Everything happens for a reason.

DLSU's Show Time

Sunday, September 25, 2005

It was game day today for DLSU and ADMU. With Tenorio's explosive start, I thought it'll go down the wire. Buti nalang, Yeo was in his element today. If only he were consistent, he'd be one heck of a player. Beating FEU is a tall order but I hope we'll win the championships again this year. After all, we were the underdogs at the start of the season and who would've known that we'd have a shot at getting the twice to beat advantage? Game 1 is going to be this Thursday. Grrr, I won't be able to watch the finals series in its entirety because of work. Hay, work is such a drag. I miss those days when I was still a student. Go Green Archers!

Saturday Sweat

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Nothing beats a good workout. I badly need a workout to beat and release work stress and most especially now that I've been getting a lot of "You've gotten fatter" remarks. In fairness, I concur, I agree, I second the motion, I accept. It has been ages since my last workout. I used to "religiously" run the treadmill almost everyday for at least an hour and a half. I would also play badminton every week. So joining the badminton tournament hosted by Xavier's Batch 71' - who were classmates of my dad back in the days - was actually a fresh welcome. I was hesitant to join at first since participating players are mostly males who obviously were out of my league. There were only four females to be exact. Heck, I would be pitted against more experienced players. Not that they were trained and all that but from experience, all men could generally hit and smash real hard regardless. These mac-daddies were already in their 50's and surprisingly, they were still in tip-top condition. Some of them can still play a mean game of badminton. As for myself, I may not have a deadly smash or drop shot but I pat myself on the back for at least trying. My strategy was to let the mac-daddies (especially the BIG or healthier ones, hehe) run back and forth or from one side to the other to catch the ball (or shuttle cock in this case). Except for that one game where we didn't score a point, I think I've somehow managed to play competitively in the sense that opponents wouldn't find the game boring or no challenge to them. This tournament was different because I barely knew anyone from my team and I'd play with a different partner each game. I wasn't the only "kid" in my team though. At the end of the day, I was exhausted but it was all good. It's nice to have events like these where everyone gets together - sons and daughters included - to play in the spirit of fun and camaraderie. No big prizes await the winning team, just pride and bragging rights I guess. UP NEXT: The ICA Alumni Badminton Tournament next week and this time around, we'll be playing with the mommies (hehe).

Wishful Thinking

Saturday, September 17, 2005

If only we had longer weekends...

and shorter working hours...

Half-Truths

Sunday, September 04, 2005

We believe what we want to believe. We think what we want to think. We refuse to listen. We stubbornly disregard what others have to say about us - most especially if it's something 'negative.' For me, it's a matter of filtering out the constructive criticisms from the destructive ones and figuring out how to use it to my advantage. The truth does hurt but sometimes we need to hear it straight out from others to whack us real hard in the head - enough to wake us up from our distorted illusion of reality. Sometimes we feign confidence in the hopes of measuring up to standards set or (should I say) imposed by society and of wanting to create a good impression. We hide our flaws, imperfections and insecurities under the disguise of false confidence and coolness. We reassure and comfort ourselves of our version of the truth to convince ourselves that we're doing more than okay. Perhaps we avoid the truth for fear of not being good enough or for fear of disrupting the status quo or whatever harmonious balances that may exist. We live in half-truths thinking that it will make everything seem better and cause us to feel and look good under the scrutinizing eyes of people we come across with. But the truth always has a way of haunting us until the bitter end or at least until it starts creeping out in the open. So really it's only a matter of acceptance. Accepting ourselves for who we really are and accepting the truth for what it really is - no matter how beautiful or ugly.

Elusions

Friday, August 12, 2005

"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne -

Patience has never really been every man's virtue. As if in a silent rush, we frantically search that something - whether it's love, inner peace, happiness or whatever our heart desires, which almost always eludes us. We then end up even more bothered, frustrated and disappointed in our pursuit of personal contentment. Life's passions and desires are never really within reach. Sometimes it takes days only, weeks, months or a while longer or maybe even a lifetime. Sometimes we still have to look for it or work hard for it. Sometimes though, we just have to wait patiently. If it's really meant to be, the right time will come even when we least expect it. And if it does, maybe it's going to be worth the long wait.

Hasta la Vista

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

It's our last night together in Hong Kong and we spent it Karaoke-ing and having eat all you can shabu shabu afterwards. The general agreement was whether you like it or not, you had to sing. I've never sung in karaokes because I never really had the courage to go for it. Since it's our last night together and all, I didn't want to be a killjoy or a pushover so I just went for the mic and just sang my heart out as if I were in the comforts of my bathroom (hehe). Thank God everyone was singing along too. Everybody should be familiar with Chicago's Hard to Say I'm Sorry, right. As I was belting out the opening lines of the song, I gradually overcame the initial nervousness and shyness that I was feeling. It was even surprisingly fun! I've been way too tense (or rigid?) for the longest time so I thought what the heck! it's about time that I let loose (even for tonight only). It actually felt good and liberating. Take note, I wasn't even drunk. I think it's been ages since I've really relaxed and enjoyed myself in the true sense. I think I should try to loosen up a bit more often and just be myself - no more worries and pretenses. Dinner was a little chaotic but kakabusog! It's eat all you can shabu shabu so what can you expect from 9 (minus Brian) very hungry people? We capped off the night by saying our goodbyes. Unlike the usual sad and sappy goodbyes (with the exception of Anita's crying), the mood was generally light. Amidst all the joking and laughter though, there was still a tinge of sadness in the air and somehow to varying degrees, it really felt like everyone was genuinely going to miss each other (and our so-called HK life together). For whatever its worth, it has been a memorable experience. Until the next time we meet again, you guys. Cheers!

Hot Bulalo Soup

Sunday, July 24, 2005

It's a super lazy Sunday afternoon. I don't feel like doing anything productive today (like say doing some research for work or brushing up on my SAS and SQL or preparing for tomorrow's individual career development plan with management). I just want to relax and chill in my room and not worry about anything for the meantime. After all, this is my last Sunday here in HK. I'm going back to Manila this coming Saturday so I have to savor what's left of the moment. I'm surely going to miss a part of my so-called HK life. I've slowly gotten used to everything here - having a routine and all. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. As Mae puts it (about her coming home from China), it's bittersweet actually. Well just like any other story, this chapter has reached its ending. I have to start moving on and prepare myself for the next BIG thing. The real world is waiting for me. This is it. The moment of truth. There's no turning back now. What's next for me kaya? I do hope it's going to be all good. Well, I'm looking forward though to having a very hot bulalo soup when I get back. I'm so craving for bulalo right now (actually matagal na!). Oh no, this is bad. I'm thinking about food again (hehe). Ayayayay!

Home Stretch

Friday, July 22, 2005

Wow, time flies. Manila! I'm coming home in a week's time. Now that training is almost over, I feel such a huge relief. To graduate AIG-CFG's Analytics Program was a feat that I thought I could not have successfully done. It feels as if I were back in school again but this time with a higher level or degree. Looking back now, I can't believe how I've managed to hurdle so many obstacles in the last 5 months. It hasn't been easy to say the least. I've never experienced so many highs and lows within such a short span of time. This whole HK experience has been one big roller coaster ride - it was exciting but jittery. More than anything else, living independently has most certainly been a very good experience for me. It's something that I've always wanted to try out but never really given much serious thought about because I knew it was far from happening anyway. But here I am now, I've learned to spread my wings, depend on myself and do things (which I wouldn't normally do) on my own. And although my place still needs some serious redecorating and refurbishing, I've grown to enjoy and value my very own personal space. Working abroad, on the other hand, has truly been an overwhelming experience. There's just so much diversity and potential. Dealing with people from different countries has been quite interesting as well. My interpersonal and communication skills have been put to a test. Sometimes even if you're not feeling it, you have to put more effort and be more sociable or friendlier than usual. Working and living in a foreign country changes your perspective on things or life in general. It makes you want to start looking at the greater scheme of things. It opens your eyes to so many other possibilities that go way beyond your own borders or the Philippines shores. Thus, making you want to explore what's out there even more; and sometimes even if it means having to step out of your comfort zone. It opens your mind to understanding cultures different from yours. Thus, making you do away with stereotypes. You'd be surprised that no matter how huge the differences may be, you'd always end up having something in common or relating to each other's lives in more ways than one. Also, it makes you have a greater appreciation of the things that you've taken for granted. You wouldn't know how good you had it until you lose it for a while (worse case scenario: you lose it forever). Really, I've learned and gained so much more in my 5 months stint in HK that no matter how much ranting, whining and complaining I did and no matter how tough it has been, it was certainly worth the ride.

Say What?

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Is there such a thing as the Art of Conversation? I was used to be bothered by uncomfortable silences. Yes, those painstakingly loooong awkward pauses. I still feel some uneasiness whenever faced with this type of situation but I guess not as much anymore. With the exception of those people who like to go on and on about themselves (hehe), there'll always be those instances when there's really nothing to say or there's nothing left to say. Sometimes you can force your way and keep the ball rolling. However, small talks are what they are - nothing more. They are merely temporary fillers. From experience, I'd often end up saying something stupid or not making any sense at all. Thus, making a complete fool out of myself. Also, I don't like it when the conversations end up being too forced or "pilit." Of course, there should always be some effort but if the conversation isn't going anywhere, why bother? If all else fails, why not just enjoy the moment of silence? There's way too much noise in this world anyway.

I want to be...

Saturday, July 09, 2005

If you were to choose a dream job or career, what would it be? Undeniably, most women want to be supermodels. It's such a cliche. Although it's also a thought that I welcome, it's not something that I ultimately dream of. If I were to choose just one among so many other possibilities, I want to be a professional athlete. And if I were to be even more specific, I think I want to be a tennis player. Get this though, I've never played tennis my whole life (hehe). Since I'm dreaming already, I might as well add I want to be one of the high-ranking players in the world. Think Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, Roger Federer, Andy Roddick and Leyton Hewitt among others. I want to be their female counterpart. It must be really exciting to play in international competitions most especially in front of huge crowds. Just imagine, playing in the Wimbledon, U.S. and Australian Open. It must be exhilarating! It's a thrill also get to mingle with other athletes from all over the world. The best part is you're getting paid for something you initially consider only as a hobby. Cool diba? So what's your fantasy job? =D

Color Me Blue

Friday, July 08, 2005

Don't we all have those days when we just want to be left alone (with matching sad songs playing in the background, hehe)? Well, this is one of those days for me. Ironically though, today's a very important day. We had this whole pressure-packed presentation to top management thing and the Graduation Awards and Dinner after. Gosh, having to plaster or put on a huge smile all day is kind of tiring. I really don't feel like chatting or doing anything else with other people. In short, gusto ko magpaka-loner. I don't know but somehow I'm feeling really down right now. I feel sad but not as in the problematic depressed type of sad - just sad. I'm so out of my element right now. I feel helpless and to some degree, hopeless. Everything seems to be going all wrong for me. As a result of all these unfavorable experiences, it seems that I've already lost the enthusiasm or eagerness to try new things and push myself towards achieving bigger goals. I feel disheartened and at a loss for some sort of control in my life right now. Although rationally speaking, I think I know what I have to do to get pass all these but lately and my general sentiment as of the moment is, my mind tells me to do something but my heart isn't exactly where it's supposed to be. I guess I'm just not feeling it anymore.

Blah

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

We did our initial presentation this morning. Management said it was "okay" (at least they were polite). But really, it was a disaster. My thoughts were so disoriented that I totally flubbed the flow of my presentation. As if things couldn't get any worse, I couldn't come up with a decent answer to management's questions. Unbelievably, I couldn't even think of a single bullshit or palusot to save my sorry ass. I just stood there feeling totally helpless and not even my groupmates could come to my rescue! Needless to say, this was my worst presentation ever. At first, there was that strong feeling of defeat and resignation. Right now though, I just feel blah. I actually don't know what to feel anymore. I'm sick and tired of constantly worrying and pressuring myself with anything work-related that I really couldn't care less anymore. I feel numb or for lack of better word, "manhid." If you think of it, hasn't it always been just a matter of wanting to impress or to create a good perception in the eyes of others? So what, if they were disappointed or if they had the wrong impression or if they have a different / unfavorable opinion of you? Although rejection is like a slap in the face, it's something that we all have to learn to deal with. It hurts but no matter how good you think you are, you just couldn't please everyone. We still have another presentation for the regional head on Friday and they're telling us to expect even more questions coming our way. Hay, I'm so over this whole HK experience. 3 more weeks and counting...I think I'm ready to go home now.

Que Sara Sara

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Pre-Project Jitters

Monday, June 20, 2005

The original plan was for us to do one final project at the end of July as the culmination of our training. We were supposed to be given the entire month of July to do it. However, management has suddenly decided that they wanted us to also present to the regional head. And since we had to be squeezed in to her very busy schedule, they moved the final project to the last two weeks of June instead. So the final plan is for us to do a full presentation for our supervisors and an executive summary presentation for the regional head four days after. This is pressure in the superlative sense. I mean as if having to present to management wasn't nerve-wracking enough, they made matters worse by wanting us to present to the regional head and finish the project in just two weeks time! If there's anything that can console me right now, at least it's a group project. I couldn't possibly imagine doing all this by myself. After roughly four months of training, I haven't really learned the ropes yet. Honestly, I'm still clueless! I think I need more time to understand the ins and outs of this business. I hope I can remember whatever I've learned so far and my bosses in Manila wouldn't expect too much from me when I get back. Hay...what have I gotten myself into? I don't want to stress myself too much with work. If any, the work set-up and contract adds to the pressure and makes things a tad more complicated. I just wish everything will all work out in the end. Maybe I should be more confident and optimistic about all this and who knows...maybe it wouldn't be half as bad as I thought it would be.

Untitled

Friday, June 17, 2005

Would you dare to compete with the best knowing that defeat is already a certainty? As much as we hate losing, nobody is perfect. Whichever way, there'll always be winners and losers. It's only a matter of who’s willing to take the hit. The problem though lies in the fact that we have a hard time admitting and accepting defeat. We always think that we're so much better. Blame it on swollen egos and pride. So what is it to be the best anyway? Sure it makes us feel good about ourselves but for how long? As they say, you're only as good as your last performance. As much as we want to, we can't be the best all the time. Whether we like it or not, somebody is surely going to be bigger and better the next time around. Don't get me wrong, there is no doubt in my mind that we should strive to be the best but if we came up short, it doesn't exactly make us less of a person. More than anything else, we should dare to fail and stop hiding under the false pretenses that perfection is the end all and be all. The thing is, mediocrity is very much part of life no matter how much denying and pretending we do.

Working My Way

Saturday, June 11, 2005

So what have I been up to for the past couple of months now?

According to our syllabus, the objective of the CFG Analytics MA Training Program (a.k.a. Camp David) is to train and develop a batch of talented, ambitious and analytics-oriented analysts to help further transform AIG CFG into an information-driven and analytical decision making organization.

Upon completion of training, we are expected to take on the role of Consumer Finance Analysts – able to analyze potential risks, formulate quantitative approaches and recommendations to solve business challenges, monitor systems and tools for portfolio performance analysis such as to comprehend very concrete technical and business knowledge, from profit and risk dynamics to in-depth portfolio performance analysis, from credit score fundamentals to technique of developing customer segmentation through use of data mining algorithm, about unsecured and secured consumer finance products, etc.

For someone who has never really liked mathematics or pretty much anything quantitative based, I wonder how on earth I ended up with this job. I almost didn’t take this job though because I knew that it was going to deal with a whole lot of “numbers” and I wasn’t so sure if it was something that I wanted to “force” or get myself into. However, I was just too overwhelmed by everything that came with the job offer so I sweet talked my way in the interviews. And after three months worth of training, I find myself wanting to give up. There are days when I really feel like quitting. Everyday is a hurdle. Everything is a challenge to me now. Is this what work is supposed to be like? I mean Hong Kong and the people I work with are all good but work in itself is just frustratingly hard. Perhaps I’m not as ambitious as I thought I was. I’ve always dreamed big but maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Or perhaps this is something that I have to do in the meantime to make me change for the better and potentially achieve something greater. And sometimes taking the easy way out isn’t exactly going to take us anywhere so inspite of everything, I took the road less traveled and maybe it will make all the difference.

1 x 7

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I’ve been here in HK for a good whole three months already and I must say that I’ve managed my finances relatively well or so I thought. I would like to think that I haven’t really been spending that much. I mean I haven’t done any serious shopping at all. I occasionally buy here and there but nothing really big or super extravagant so far. Not that I’m on a tight budget or anything but it’s a conscious decision to try to "reasonably" save as much as possible. A bulk of my expenses go to basic necessities. Well mostly on food that is and take note it doesn’t even take that much to make me “busog.” Since day one, I started listing down day to day expenses to take into account how much I’ve been spending or saving for that matter and all this time, I’ve been darn proud of how well I’ve moderately managed my finances. So when I was calculating three months’ worth of finances, I was left dumbfounded. Initially, the numbers staring right back at me seemed alright – at least not until I start converting them to Philippine peso anyway (hehe). I have no idea how much an average “Hongkie” spends in a week but most certainly under Philippine standards, it’s just over and above what an average single person would spend in a week. It’s more than a whole month’s worth of groceries for an entire household of six! To think, we’re only talking about personal expenses discounting rent, electricity and the like. And to think this is only HK that we're speaking of so what more can we get out of our peso's worth in the US or Europe? I guess the standards of living are higher so the costs are different. Hmm…maybe I shouldn’t bother converting to peso anymore otherwise everything will always either seem more expensive or unreasonably priced. On the other hand, everything will seem so much cheaper when I get back to Manila. So is that good news or bad news? (hehe)

Seductively Slim

Friday, June 03, 2005

Umm...definitely not referring to myself (hehe) but rather to my new Sony T7 Cybershot camera (well according to the ads). I’m so psyched to use it. Ever since I’ve gotten it, I’ve been wanting to tinker away and browse through the manuals but just didn’t have the time to do so because I’ve been so swamped with work the entire week. Grabe, I don’t even have time to do my chores anymore. I was already planning to buy a new camera for myself but haven't really decided whether to splurge or not. If ever, I was choosing between the Sony T7 and Ixus 700 but maybe leaning more towards the Sony T7. Then two weeks ago when they visited me here, my auntie Kathie surprised me by giving me her IXUS. Although it wasn't the Sony T7 or Ixus 700 that I wanted, just the same I was more than happy and contented. And when they spent the last weekend here (as a result of my cousin's continued persistence of wanting to go back to HK just barely two weeks after their trip here), to my surprise (again!) she bought me the Sony T7 and exchanged it for the Ixus. I was telling her that she really didn’t have to buy me a new one. I was also “nahihiya” since there wasn’t really any special occasion. It was certainly a delightful surprise though. It's a sleek camera with tons of functions that I have yet to read up on. Again, thank you auntie Kathie! =)

TGIF

Friday, May 20, 2005

If there's anything that I'm most looking forward to here, it's Friday. I love the weekends more than ever now. In fact, I cherish the weekends. I'm relieved from all the pressures of work. I can temporarily forget anything work related. Well, not unless we're given some assignment or project. Nevertheless, the weekends give me the much needed break that (I think) I badly need and might I just add, I so badly deserve (hehe). After a week's worth of work, just the thought of having "free" time to myself excites, enlightens and energizes me in many ways. Except for the group's usual happy hours and occasional get-togethers and outings, we're pretty much on our own on weekends. So my weekends are strictly reserved for some serious R and R and R - rest, relaxation and recreation.

On weekends...

I get to wake up a little later than usual and stay in bed for as long as I want. Well actually only long enough until it's time for the housekeeping lady to clean my room.

I get to do my groceries. I have to replenish and stock up on a week's worth of food. And I don't know why but I just enjoy my time in groceries.

I get to go to the malls and do a little shopping. Aaaah...therapeutic.

I get to catch up on my favorite TV shows. Marathons of The O.C., Desperate Housewives and 24 season 4 are my numero uno stress-relievers. Local TV also has Survivor and The Apprentice 3 on every Saturday.

I get to go watch movies. I don't get to watch as much anymore as when I was back home. Most people here don't watch as much movie as we do in Manila. Aside from having limited movies to choose from and movie tickets being more expensive, coming attraction movies are shown a month or a few weeks later as compared to the now showing movies in Manila. Since my colleagues aren't really regular moviegoers and being the huge movie buff that I am, I couldn't resist and pass on whatever may seem like a good movie to me at the moment. So inspite of having some hesistations, one fine day I went ahead and decided to just go watch by my lonesome self. Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad and scary at all. I actually even enjoyed myself. So far, I've only watched The Pacifier, Miss Congeniality and The Interpreter that's because there aren't any new English movies to choose from here.

You see, I make it a point to find simple ways and means to unwind and amuse myself regardless of whether in the company of others or of myself. Nothing really fancy. No need for big happenings or whatever event. Weekends should be refreshing. I personally believe that we should strive to work hard but we should not forget to play hard as well. We owe it to ourselves. Thank God it's Friday!

Have a nice weekend y’all. I know I will.

Mind over Matter

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I'm feeling much better now. I have to thank my colleagues who helped me BIG time yesterday. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have finished our assignment at all. Yesterday, I was an emotional mess. For some unknown reason, I just felt like crying. I was actually crying! Throughout the day, I was feeling down. My morale was at its all time low. I really don't know why and couldn't explain "the feeling." As far as I can remember, I've never been like this before. I'm usually not the type who would openly cry in front of everyone else and I don't usually resort to crying whenever I'm down or troubled. There seems to be tons of reasons but ironically, I couldn't come up with one solid explanation.

Maybe it's because my family who's just visiting over the long weekend (FYI: Monday was a holiday here in Hong Kong) was already leaving for Manila. But what I couldn't understand is, it has already been my 3rd visit from family and so far, I never actually cried. Maybe homesickness is starting to set in. I really don't know. Maybe it's because I'm going to miss eating really really good meals (hahaha). The past few days that they've been here, I think I ate way too much. No complaints though (hehe sarap kasi! and it's good food).

Maybe it's because of the pressures of work. I'm having some difficulty in absorbing every new information. Work is hard as it is already and what makes it even harder is having to work with people who are already several steps higher than you. No matter how hard I try to convince and push myself, I couldn't match their years of experience. Coincidentally, we were given an assignment the other day that was due this morning. I was sort of struggling to create my program and felt so lost. But what I couldn't understand is, I've had even tougher assignments and somehow I was able to surprisingly hurdle all of it in the end. Maybe pent up frustrations are starting to pour in. I really don't know.

Maybe it's because of hormonal effects. Maybe I'm just PMS-ing. I'm not so sure either.

Maybe there are other subconscious reasons unknown to me. Who knows?

Whatever the reason, I'm okay now. I'm going back to my two-and-a-half-month old routine again. And yes, I'm trying to get my so-called groove back again. I guess it's just putting mind over matter.

I want a Roadster

Thursday, May 12, 2005

This I like!

The HK Experience

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Other than the hassles, stress and pressures of work, I’m actually enjoying myself here in Hong Kong. Not in the superlative sense though but enjoying myself nonetheless. I mean who would have known that I’d get to experience this kind of opportunity and what an interesting experience it has been so far. Nothing really big or exciting though. I’ve always wanted to live abroad for a while – whether for work or school but I didn’t have the initiative to make it all happen. And like lightning in the sky, this job offer came literally flashing right before me. So they say lightning strikes only once in one place – hence, I took the plunge regardless of the innumerable uncertainties. It’s strange how opportunity knocks or how good things come your way when you least expect it.

I could hardly believe that a good whole 2 months have already gone by since I left Manila. Sigh, time flies. I’m immersing myself with the new culture around me – work, the environment, the people, and independent life. Within only a span of 2 months, so many things have already happened – a fair mix of good and bad experiences. Either way, valuable lessons have been learned and taken well to heart whether with regards to work, people, myself and life in general.

Needless to say, I’m taking pleasure in this so called temporary change. I needed this change. As a matter of fact, it has been long overdue. I think there’s no better time than now. However, change can sometimes be a pain in the butt especially when we lose the comfort and sense of familiarity. It can be difficult. Sometimes it feels as if we’re starting from scratch again. It can be risky as well. There’s the risk of not knowing what's ahead and of creating a negative chain reaction. It can also be frustrating. We fumble and find our way. We try to fine-tune every little thing and a whole lot of adjustments have to be made accordingly. But one way or the other, change can be healthy. It can do us good depending upon the attitude we have towards it. Change can actually make us stronger, wiser and better persons. And here I am now, somehow changed by this whole Hong Kong experience in more ways than I’ve ever imagined.

Yehey! Day

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Yehey!

Today and tomorrow, our topic will be on Project Management which is something my field of interests covers. At least, I wouldn't have to worry for the next two days. I'm rest assured that it's something that I wouldn't fret over. I can take a breather in the meantime. It feels more like a two day break or an extension of our May 2 holiday.

I got to thinking last Friday night or as I would like to refer to as my so called Eureka moment. From being undecisive and not knowing what I really want to do for work, I think I know now. Yes, only after an hour of watching the very late second season rerun of The Apprentice. I want to try to be in something that's sort of in the same line of work. I want the kind of work that Donald Trump makes his "apprentices" do. Looks fun and challenging. It's something that I think I'll enjoy to some extent.

Another Yehey! moment...I finally have internet in my room (with the help of Ta and Brian - thank you!). It's such a hassle to go down the lobby everytime and my laptop's battery going empty all the time. And what's even better is, I get to pay only half the price! It's a bargain. Ahh...wi-fi is one of man's greatest inventions. Okay fine, maybe I'm exagerrating.

So...yehey! yehey! yehey! I hope this Yehey! moment of mine will last long...

I know what you're thinking...

Pure kababawan.

But what the heck...

No matter how babaw, if it makes me happy...

Why not?

....

Coconut? =P

Moving Day

Sunday, May 01, 2005

It’s moving day for me. I’m now officially transferring to my very own apartment/room. I finally get to have privacy – no more sharing of the bed and bathroom. And being the neat freak or OC that I am, I won’t have to worry about cleaning up after somebody else’s mess. I’m also getting my internet hooked up since it’s such a hassle to go down to the lobby every single time. If everything works, I might try sharing the internet connection with the Thai guy (or “gay” - not yet confirmed though, hehe) whose room is exactly right under mine (he’s one floor down). We can split the bill and save 225 HK each every month. Not bad, right? Supposedly, all we need is a router and we’re good to go. On the one side, I’m really going to miss our old apartment since it’s located in one of the “better” floors. It’s newly renovated and I like the modern and minimalist feel to it. Our new apartment totally fails in comparison. Alright, it’s averagely fair and passable but it's still a far cry from our old apartment. I inquired about the studio type rooms located in the “better” floors and was willing to pay for the difference that my company was paying. However, according to the front desk people, they would still have to check with my company and have them sign a new contract again. After all the brouhaha last March and after the “sermon” that we got from the regional HR head on our very first day of work here, I was like forget about it. I wasn’t willing to take the risk again of creating trouble because of the room setup. I don’t want to give them the impression that I’m such a big whiner or I’m feeling VIP and wanted to be treated differently from the rest. After all, everyone else stays in the same floor where we just transferred to (except the two who’s staying on the 16th) and so far, nobody else inquired about the “better” rooms so I think I should have no reason to ask for anything different. Things are so different now – this is work. I’m working now for somebody else and I don’t have the bargaining power (or more like bargaining rights!) to demand for anything or ask specifically for something anymore. I can’t expect for things or conditions to be the same as what I’ve always been used to or as what they usually are outside work. I should even be thankful that our accommodations and terms aren’t that bad as one would usually expect from corporate trainings like this. I mean what more can you ask for…training in HK, living in a hotel/apartment (with housekeeping twice a week!) and getting paid with a hefty sum. I say, we’re so much better off already.

Transferring to our own apartments/rooms is kind of exciting while at the same time, it makes kind of hesitant as well. Excited because I get to have my own place and do my own thing and hesitant, because I sort of get scared easily (hehe). Okay fine, I’m a scaredy cat. Thank you very much to my overactive imagination! So from this day onwards, I’m officially on my own. Well, only at least for the next 3 months. Nothing really permanent. Nevertheless, I'm learning to live the independent life. It certainly has its ups and downs. But I have to savor the moment while it lasts. So here's to my so called temporary independence! (hehe)

All in a Day's Work

Friday, April 22, 2005

After two weeks of sheer stress and pressure, it feels good to have finally finished and presented our individual SAS projects. It wasn’t easy for sure. Literally, my brain has never been so overworked and to think, college life (most especially my major subjects in Economics) for me was already tough. I guess there’s the added pressure of being in a different country, working with people of different nationalities and being one of only three from the Philippines to be sent here in Hong Kong. It feels like I'm representing my country ala Miss Universe (haha). Aside from having many years of experience and masters degrees under their belts, my fellow management associates (MAs) are anything but underachievers. Really, I’ve never felt this much pressure in my life. It feels as if I have to constantly prove myself and act as if I already know or understand what they’re talking about. In short, act like a K.I.A - know it all to put it bluntly (hehe). When in fact, half of the time I’m clueless. They’re all fairly nice but when it comes to work, they mean serious business. Suddenly it’s every man for himself – survival of the fittest in its truest sense.

As the culmination of two weeks of SAS programming sessions, we were given individual projects. Programming is something that I’ve never imagined learning and doing. It’s not exactly in my list of interests and it most certainly is not in my field of expertise. The lectures are fast-paced as if having the presumption that we all had some sort of background on programming already. Well, unlike my fellow MAs who have some sort of prior knowledge on the subject matter, I never had any background whatsoever so it was difficult for me to catch up and absorb as much information all at the same time. It’s even harder since I’m not as familiar yet with the ins and outs of the credit card business so I’m lost when it comes to having to formulate my own analysis framework for my program. I mean I’m barely out of school and here I am with a high pressure job where the circumstances are very different from the usual or from what one would normally expect from a fresh graduate. For someone like me who’s so laidback and uncompetitive by nature, I don’t like to be in an environment where there’s just too much stress and pressure of having to be the best and in full battle gear all the time. At the end of the day, you get so worked out and no matter how worn out you feel, you still get that feeling of dissatisfaction with everything that you've accomplished and worked so hard for.

Sticky Set-up

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

As difficult as it is to keep, maintain and nurture relationships, it's even more difficult to create and jumpstart new ones. Hardly are we able to connect right away with some person whom we've just met. Not often are we able to fully establish a comfortable and open relationship with people whom we've known all our lives so what more can we expect with some random person?

The typical situation would have been first getting to know each other in the hopes of getting pass the so called awkward stage and moving on to a blossoming friendship. Finding some common ground is where it initially starts. However, we can't expect budding friendships and/or relationships all the time with every person who crosses our paths. Some acquaintances remain nothing more than what they are. However, sometimes it takes a longer period of time for fate to play out and in some special cases or instances, all it takes are second chances.

The atypical situation is when you're forced to live with some person who you barely know. Imagine not just sharing an apartment or having to share a bathroom but think worse case scenario - having to sleep in just one bed (yikees!) and the situation worsens as personalities start to "silently" clash. As if having entirely opposite personalities isn't bad enough, it couldn't get any better as you begin to discover that the other person have some really weird habits and annoying traits. I'm not ruling out the possibility though that the other person may think and feel negatively towards me too. I suppose she may have some hidden disliking towards me but the truth of the matter is, I don't really care. We surprisingly get along just fine but I don’t think our so called friendship can withstand the test of time – I’m referring to my patience that is. I actually have nothing against the other person. Although the other person is usually nice and occasionally chatty and we’re more than okay, but the problem is as simple as having two very different personalities and having to force yourself to get along perfectly well with that person day in and day out and forge what will supposedly be termed as a non-friction/smooth-sailing relationship. In all fairness though, it's not all bad. We have some good days too. Who knows we might end up being good colleagues after all and overcome our differences as fate would have it. In the meantime though, I have to suck it up and deal with the situation in the best possible way that I can. Real tough luck but whoever said it was going to be easy anyway?

Allergic Reaction

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Have you ever felt like having an allergic reaction towards something? No matter how funny or weird this may sound, I think guys or men have some sort of “allergic” – for lack of a better word – reaction to me. I don’t know why. I take a bath everyday and I brush my teeth as what any normal person would do. Perhaps I’m missing something out. Whatever the reason may be, I’m totally clueless. I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if I’m sending a different signal. Possibly, the signal is too weak for them to even detect or notice (haha). I admittedly blame myself for the fact that I’m very shy and may often come off as aloof. I rarely initiate conversations and I’m usually self-conscious. However, I’m slowly learning to come out of my shell and be more open minded about these kinds of things. I can now say that the effort to reach out and communicate is there. Believe me, I try. I can’t seem to understand though that for the odd and few times that I feel like being friendly or sociable towards them, I can’t seem to get any reaction at all or even a typical reaction – the least. I could only get a word or two, nothing more and nothing less. I mean it’s not like my intentions are something out of the ordinary – it's as platonic as it can be, no malice or any romantic intentions whatsoever. Really, it’s just purely for conversation’s sake or in some really good cases, just wanting to know a person more. It frustrates me how unresponsive men can be. I couldn’t get them to respond the way I want them to or I expect them to be. I mean, come on…it’s not like I’m hitting on them and I want a relationship (duh!). From a conservative’s point of view, men should generally (take note: not all the time but usually) be the initiators. Meaning, they should make the first move whatever their intentions may be – whether as friends or anything more than that. I’ve always believe that real good men are those who know how to treat a girl or woman right regardless of the status and degree of their relationship. The problem lies in the fact that most men choose specifically who they want to treat right. I mean I don’t expect men to treat all women like queens or extra special – basic proper etiquette and manners will do (jeez!). As in my case, I guess men have their own reasons too. Whatever their reasons may be, I can never really tell. Maybe they have to take more vitamins to withstand or counteract whatever tiny allergic reaction that I may cause. But then again, maybe it’s just me - so what else is new? As some would like to put it, they find me a little too intimidating or unapproachable. Yeah right, I don't think real men get scared that easily. Or just maybe…real men are just damn too hard to find these days.

Self Worth

Monday, March 21, 2005

We're self-conscious beings whether or not we'd want to admit it. To varying degrees, we worry too much of other people's expectations, opinions and perceptions. We become too bothered that we eventually become unsure of our own capabilities and all sorts of doubts start to sink in. We try so hard to change and please others that in the process, we somehow end up losing our sense of self. Therefore, I've gradually adopted the "I don't care" mentality into my life. I know it's not the best solution but it effectively frees me from all the stress of having to think and worry too much. As much as we try to come up with valid reasons or explanations or excuses for everything and anything, we can only do so much to change other people's feelings towards us. It's not about being indifferent or apathetic. It's about getting tired of all the crap. It's about reaching a saturation point of not wanting to be bothered by such trivial and senseless matters. It’s about getting rid of all the excess baggage and feeling much lighter about life and ourselves.

Little Packages

Friday, March 11, 2005

After having a very bad lunch a while ago and after having one bad day after the other, it’s quite refreshing to feel happy about something again.

AXN. I was so delighted that our hotel/apartment has just added AXN – finally a channel that I can relate to. Back home, I’m not much of an AXN fan. I only watch it primarily because of Amazing Race and occasionally whenever I feel like watching Fear Factor or CSI. However, given the circumstances I’m in right now, I consider AXN as the “it” channel for now (haha). Ever since I got here, my TV was always tuned in to CNN. That’s why I can safely say that I’m now well-versed with the world’s events (haha). Coming here to Hong Kong, I was bummed out that I wouldn’t be able to follow the new seasons of Amazing Race, American Idol and Survivor. So I’m so happy now that I’ll get to watch Amazing Race. I’m hoping they’ll also add Star World. After all, I think it has Hong Kong as its headquarters in Asia. Jane, a friend of my sister who’s based here in Hong Kong, also told me that Star World is a staple on Hong Kong TV with or without cable. So how come my TV doesn’t have Star World? Hong Kong cable TV sucks.

Free Wi-Fi. I could actually apply for unlimited Broadband Internet Access in my apartment for 450 HK a month. Jane said that her internet costs only 100 HK a month. It’s so cheap and is as fast as having DSL (100 mbps). As important it is for me to have internet access, I thought it was best not to apply first just in case I might transfer to another single apartment within the month. However, I was so delighted to find out that our hotel/apartment lobby offers free wi-fi. So here I am now…blogging! (heehee!). Now I get to communicate with the outside world and find some sort of amusement for myself here (hehe). I can now check my mails, surf the net and download my favorite TV shows and songs. But since they don’t have power outlets here in the lobby, I have to depend on my laptop’s battery all the time.

My Ipod. It’s a good thing I decided to bring it here. It entertains me whenever I feel really bored or whenever I couldn’t sleep.

For some, these may be just really shallow things but if there’s anything that I’ve learned here after a few days of being by my lonesome self, it’s that as soon as you’re out of your comfort zone, you’ll really learn to truly appreciate even the smallest, silliest and shallowest of things. I've now definitely learned to open and appreciate the little packages that come my way. I'm even surprised to actually find myself smiling over it.

Another Yikes!

We had lunch with our supervisors a while ago at Pizza Hut in City Plaza. All I could say is it was the most awkward moment that I think I’ve ever had thus far. After all that has happened, I think it will still take some time for us to be able to move on...as if nothing ever happened. I guess we can always pretend that everything is alright now but I don’t think both sides will ever forget the “unpleasant incident.” Whether we like it or not and no matter how much denying we do, there’ll always be some awkwardness in the air. It feels weird how both sides have become so careful; obviously not wanting for any "unpleasant incident" to happen again. So you can just imagine how I silently wished so hard for lunch to end as soon as possible. It was like being stuck on a very bad prom date perhaps even worse. Enough said.

On My Own

Thursday, March 10, 2005

For the past 4 days, I’ve been meeting up with my mom and auntie in Pacific Place after my training. I would take a bath in their hotel and have dinner with them. They’re staying at the Island Shangri La. It’s a very nice hotel. I enjoy taking baths there (wahaha). The towels are so clean and white. Their bed is so huge with very clean and white sheets. Sarap! The hotel/apartment I’m staying in is actually not that bad but it’s harder for me because I have to temporarily share the apartment with someone I barely know since the hotel/apartment is already fully booked for the month. What complicates things even more is her mom's staying with us for 2 whole weeks. As much as I was looking forward to having my own apartment, I was left with no other choice but to make the most out of the situation and pray real hard that come April, there will be available rooms. My mom, auntie and cousin just left for Manila a while ago. It’s ironic how I’ve always wanted to be independent and live on my own in a foreign country (just for a couple of months lang naman hehe) and now that opportunity has presented itself, here I am now wishing the exact opposite. Go figure.

Yikes!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Today was our first day of training. It takes us about 15 to 20 minutes walk from our hotel/apartment to the training center. At the rate the Taiwanese are walking, I think I won’t have to go to the gym any time soon (hehe). I already missed 2 weeks of training but according to the supervisors, workshops on the core and more important components of the training will only begin today so no worries. My colleagues include 3 Taiwanese, 2 Thais and 2 Filipinos. From time to time, some Hong Kong people are asked by their respective bosses to join our workshops as well. My very first day of training was B-O-R-I-N-G. Unlike the other professional associates who are well-experienced and have been working for quite some time now, I’m new in this business and I must admit I’m not as familiar with the ins and outs of this business.

After the training, we (there’s also another Filipino girl who also missed the first 2 weeks of the training) were asked to see the regional HR head for our initial meeting. She initially asked us how we were doing and basically moved on to indirectly scolding us about the “unpleasant incident.” She was actually very discreet and subtle but I can tell that she was very disappointed and unhappy. This was definitely not the first job impression that I wanted to create. In all fairness, she gave me the chance to explain my side but in the end, she couldn’t really understand where I’m coming from so I just politely said my apologies just to appease her. Once again, it’s quite obvious that today wasn’t a good day. It wasn’t as bad as yesterday but just the same, it was still bad. What am I getting myself into?

HK Disaster

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Less than 24 hours here in Hong Kong and I unsuspectingly find myself stuck in a huge pit hole. The whole Hong Kong situation sucks right now. Training hasn’t even started yet and everything has already turned for the worse. What supposedly was something that at the outset presented itself in the disguise of a very exciting job opportunity turned out to be nothing but a dud (this is how I feel as of the moment). I'm hoping that things can still turn 180 degrees. I don’t want to go in to details anymore. Suffice to say I wasn’t prepared for all these. I don’t know how to feel after all that has happened, after all that has been said and done. As I would like to put it, damage has already been done. What frustrates me even more is that I could’ve prevented all these issues from the very beginning if only I acted differently – okay, if only I acted smarter. Well, we already did some damage control. Our tactics sort of worked but just the same, I don’t think they’ll ever forget the unpleasant “incident.” Frankly, I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to bother myself of having to worry too much about every single detail. I can only do so much. Besides, we’re all entitled to our own opinion. What matters most anyway is being able to perform and produce good results so I’ll just have to work a little harder this time and move on from my mistakes. You live, you learn – it couldn’t get any simpler than that.

Money Talks

Monday, February 21, 2005

Do we always need to hand out extra money under the table to get things done? Do we always have to resort to shady deals in order to get what we want? If this is the case then I don’t think we’ll ever get things done – efficiently and effectively. They say money is the root or source of all evil. As what I’ve learned in one of my religion classes, money in itself isn’t really the root or source of all evil. Man’s greed and lust for money is what makes it evil. I went to the Mandaluyong City Hall this afternoon to have my NBI and police clearance processed as it is part of work's requirements. My sister and a colleague got theirs 4 days after so I couldn’t quite understand why mine would take at least a week to process. I need to pass work’s requirements as soon as possible because we’re on a very tight schedule. So when my driver told me that one of the persons-in-charge could get me my NBI clearance the very next day in exchange for an additional P250 (ang dugas! and then they have the nerve to change it to 2 days grrr!), I wasn’t so sure what to do. I was thinking I needed my clearance as soon as possible but on the other hand I didn’t want to give them the benefit of getting the better of me. I’ve always condemned the way our country’s systems work. Our country never progresses primarily because of rampant graft and corruption among government officials – from the executive branch to the legislative branch and on to the judicial branch. And just recently, I’ve experienced first hand a fraction of how corruption works at the lowest levels of government. How much more kaya at the higher levels of the government hierarchy? I can just imagine how massive graft and corruption is at the higher ranks. Just the thought of it makes me shudder. As much as I vehemently condemn any form of bribery or corruption, I was admittedly in one of my weakest moments to say the least. I gave in to bribery to save myself the hassle and so that I can pass my work requirements on time. I felt guilty afterwards as if I were such an unlawful citizen of this country. I even felt disappointed with myself for allowing myself to be part of their fraudulent activities. I felt so exasperated with the persons-in-charge. As obedient taxpayers of this country, we duly deserve to have access to well-functioning government services. As for me, I momentarily became one of those people whom I’ve always denounced. It’s those people who are more than willing to pay who make corruption a lot worse than it already is. For now, I’m guilty as charged. The next time something like this happens again, I’ll make sure that I’ll do the talking. I'll give them a piece of my mind and if that doesn't work, I'll call the attention of their supervisors. And if all else fails, I think I'll pray for them nalang (hehe).

* Off-topic: Good news is I found my driver’s license na! I've been praying to St. Anthony ever since. He never fails me talaga. Yahoo! =)

Jackpot!

Friday, February 18, 2005

YES! Yes that I was accepting their job offer and yes because I would like to think that I have finally found a very good job although I’m expecting it to be very difficult and challenging as well. What seems surreal is having to leave for Hong Kong so soon and live independently for 5 whole months (yikes!). I’ve always wanted a change in environment anyway so I guess this is the perfect opportunity. But of course if given the chance, I would have chosen a different country (hehe). Just the same, this is BIG for me. The whole thing is new to me. It’s something that I wasn’t really expecting to come my way. In my dreams…maybe but never did I imagine that I will actually score something as big as this (not that it’s a big-time job hehe). Well anyway, at least in my standards it’s considered big deal already. The opportunities that the company is offering us are just too good to be true. However just like all things, not everything is always sugar coated. Of course, with the opportunities comes hard work. I know that I’ll have to work extra hard this time otherwise they’ll have me pack my bags and worse, they’ll have me pay a large sum of money for the bond. I really hope that everything will work out just fine and that I can do it. Since work hasn’t officially started yet, I’m going to in the meantime enjoy my so-called award-winning slash grand slam moment.

Did I hit the jackpot this time? I certainly hope so.

One More Try

Thursday, February 17, 2005

And the saga (of my future career) continues on…

I received a call this morning and I was scheduled for another interview early this afternoon with their MIS person. Yes, the one person who supposedly can and will technically determine once and for all whether or not this job is for me. In short, the fate of my future lies in her hands. You see, they still have some hesitation because I mentioned from my previous interviews that I’m really not the numbers/quantitative type of person. At least I was honest about it. What's important is I’m always willing to learn and very persistent at that! ;)

At one point in the interview, I was asked to analyze the given graph and table on the spot. I was literally petrified but of course I still had to stay cool like as if it was no big deal to me (hehe). It's a good thing though I’m usually calm under pressure. Phew! I’m so relieved I was able to pull that one off (now I ought to give myself a well-deserved pat on the back heehee!). From the interview, it turns out that I had the wrong job description in mind. It turned out that, aside from the analytics and whole numbers thing, the job will involve a lot of programming which by the way I have no background on (not even the basics!). The analysis part I think I can deal with especially with more practice but the programming part….I really don’t know. But with proper training, I'm pretty sure some way some how I can deal with it naman din. However, I’m not so sure if it’s exactly what I want to do for the next 2 years or so. It's a matter of whether or not it really interests me. I feel confused right now. I think the 5 months training in Hong Kong under the tutelage of a Yale doctorate makes the job a whole lot more attractive and makes it a little too good to pass. More so I get to further advance my education and the new environment is a fresh change. I think we'll also be given a sizeable amount for our allowance which is a plus. Really…I don’t know what to do. I’ve always been hard working in school so the learning aspect is not that much of a problem. What concerns me right now is whether or not I’ll be happy with the job in the long run. *(3:50 pm)

----
During dinner, I got a call again. I have another interview tomorrow. Supposedly it’s to finalize things daw. So what's the state of my mind right now? My mind’s clearer now after talking to my dad. I feel more encouraged. I feel surer now. I’ve decided to take the job if and when I will be accepted. Maybe it’s about time for me to undertake changes in my life. I’ve always wanted some change anyway. I think I need it. So now that opportunity has already presented itself, why not take it? Perhaps change will even be good for me. Wish me luck.

50/50

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

50/50 chance. I earnestly feel that I have a 50/50 chance of making the final cut. Although I wasn’t super confident before the interview, I felt fairly comfortable with my position. Now that the “important” interview is over and done with, I’m feeling more uncertainty. I feel doubtful with my overall performance and disposition. The interview was surprisingly short compared to yesterday’s 9am to 12pm and to the other girl’s “important” interview just yesterday (hehe I inadvertently saw her time-in and time-out in the log book). Is a short interview (let's say a little over 15 minutes) good or bad? The possible explanation I can come up with is maybe they’ve already made up their minds – that is, either they’re so sure they want me in already (wishing!) or they’re so sure they want me out (hehe). It can actually go both ways when you think of it, makes sense right? Although there were a couple of instances when I wished I could have answered differently (so what else is new? hehe), I don’t think I made that bad an impression on the general manager. In fact, I was very early for the interview. Ironically, I wasn’t so sure whether or not I wanted the position yesterday. I was even nervously thinking what if they pick me? (hehe feeling ba?) I was thinking then it would mean more pressure and confusion for me to make a decision. I wasn't really 100% wanting to be accepted talaga (tsk! tsk!...I know bad, bad, bad me). And to think, my family (especially my mom and dad) was even so eager and excited for me. So as not to get their hopes up, I reminded them that nothing’s definite yet. I’m not yet a shoo-in and that I still have an interview with the general manager. I don’t want to build or hype everything all up only to disappoint them in the end. So now that the supposedly important interview is over, I really do not know where I stand. I don’t want to stress myself too much and go through the typical what if’s and could-have-been’s scenarios. I’ll just have to wait for their call and if I don’t get "the call" then I guess I’ll have to just try my luck elsewhere or maybe something bigger is waiting for me in the wings (hehe yeah right!). On the lighter side, I'd get to join all family activities and won't be left behind if and when they decide to go abroad this coming Holy Week or summer and lastly, I won't miss out on the new seasons of all my favorite TV shows (hehe). However, now that I really think about it…I actually want the job. I'm now willing to take that risk. I'm willing to take that plunge. It's funny how when we can’t have something, all the more we want it; and all those times that we had it, we didn’t want it; and when we thought we had it, we actually didn’t. Interestingly and so frustratingly boggling are life’s ironies but then again maybe it's just me.

In the Pressure Cooker

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

I got an unexpected call last week from the Philam Group of Companies for a management associate position. The position was supposed to be 1 year training some time in May or June where we will be assigned to different divisions in one of their affiliate companies here in the Philippines. Although I’m not that interested in the insurance business per se, I just thought of checking it out since I had all the time in the world anyway - doing nothing (haha!). So I took the test and interview last Friday without any pressure and expectations. The test wasn’t really overly difficult for my brain to manage or handle (hehe). The interview, on the other hand, was surprisingly quite comprehensive. While I wasn’t totally prepared for it, I don’t think I made a total fool out of myself either. To my surprise, I got a call back just yesterday for a professional associate position from AIG which from my understanding is the parent or partner (I’ll have do research on that first hehe) company of the Philam Group and is one of the largest worldwide. This time the position was a little different from the first one in the sense that it would require 5 months training in Hong Kong along with 2 more representatives in the Philippines and other representatives in Taiwan, Thailand and Hong Kong. Further conditions include that we cannot leave Hong Kong by all means for the entire duration of the training (meaning: even if it would be at my expense or even only for a weekend – a perfect example would be me wanting to attend my cousin’s wedding in April which I was looking forward to since last year). Another condition is we’re required to work for the company for at least 18 months after the training (that's one and half years!). If we break that bond, we’ll have to pay a huge sum (believe me when I say it's huge, it's HUGE). They’re investing a little over a million pesos on us so who could blame them right? Here's the biggest catch...we'll have to leave in a week's time (March 2 to be exact) since training will officially start in February 21. Hello?! it's such short notice to condition myself to leave the luxuries and comforts of home (hehe). After two interviews and an essay this morning, I was scheduled for a final interview with the general manager of AIG tomorrow. Actually, I almost didn't make the cut na because after hearing that the training and job was going to be dealing with a whole lot of "numbers" and analytics, I couldn't lie to the interviewer and tell him that I was a big fan of numbers (hehe). Although I'm partial to the qualitative side of things, I was still interested one way or the other. But when he asked me if I was hugely interested, I couldn't tell him straight that "I was HUGELY interested." After a call from my sister and her knocking some sense into me that the job position was too good an opportunity to pass, I made bawi in the essay and the following interviews after that. I guess tomorrow’s the moment of truth. To say that I’m confused right now is an understatement. I really don’t know what to do. I can’t decide. Ever since choosing to study in DLSU, this certainly tops my list of having to make major decisions. I know that this is sort of life altering and will certainly determine my life's direction whether in a good or bad way for the next two years or even more. Well, nothing’s definite yet. Heck, I’m not yet even accepted. I still have one very important interview to hurdle tomorrow so I don’t want to jump the gun. I guess I'll just have to wait and see whatever happens tomorrow...only then will I be able to fully decide.

Post Graduation Thoughts

Monday, February 14, 2005

After exactly 4 years and 2 terms in DLSU, I finally graduated with flying colors last Saturday (February 5, 2005). I feel a strong sense of achievement that I was able to successfully complete my education and to top it all of, graduate honorable mention. It truly feels great to have come to the realization of a goal that I’ve worked so hard for. And now as I graduate and move on to (*Ahem!*) GREATER things, I can’t help but feel a surge of mixed emotions. I feel some sort of happiness. I guess that's self-explanatory. I feel some sort of sadness that I’m officially leaving college life behind (and with that…I hope that I’ll stay connected or in close contact with friends I’ve made along the way). I feel some sort of confusion as to the direction that I want to take. At this point, I do not really know what I want to do. As of the meantime, my game plan consists of taking the backseat (translation: I don’t want to pressure myself too much and I don’t want to rush things and make rash decisions that I’ll later on regret) and rather than making things happen for myself, I’ll just wait for opportunity to present itself. I know this may not sound like a smart game plan at all but base from experience, sometimes forcing things to happen creates too much expectations and false hopes. So I’ll just take things nice and slow and take it one day at a time. I feel some sort of excitement of what’s ahead of me. I can only hope for bigger and better things to come. I guess I can say that more or less I’m prepared for whatever the future has in stored for me. No matter how different I’d like some things to have been or for the way some things to have turned out and no matter how much altering or changing I want to make, at this point I can only be thankful for being so blessed in spite and despite of.

Partners in Crime: Mae, Me, Anne, Pan (DLSU Graduation in PICC)


In all our glory (hehe): Tin, Joj, Pan, Ga, Me, Anne, Kathy, Mae

Zip It!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

As rational (and intellectual – I hope!) human beings, we always have a point to make whether pertaining to relevant or trivial matters. It’s good that we all have our own opinions and thoughts to share. The dilemma though lies in our stubbornness and inflated egos. I really don't see myself as the confrontational type. More often than not, I'd be subtle and indirect unless it reaches a point that it becomes too much to bear or handle already. I’m usually the type who would calmly reason my way out of an issue or subject matter that I feel strongly about. However, it seems to me that sometimes it’s best to just hold my piece; that is, to keep my mouth shut lest of getting myself into deep shit and more trouble. Why not simply save myself the time and energy for more productive matters rather than waste it all to futile arguments and debates? I’m sick and tired of endless arguments and bickering that fall into deaf ears and “closed minds.” It’s quite exhausting to continuously argue and debate about the same old issue or subject matter that seemingly drags on and on without any resolution. It frustrates me to see persons who so stubbornly refuse to keep an open mind or the least, listen. If only cooler heads prevail then we could all understand each other a whole lot more and find a better way to compromise. Sometimes I see no point of reasoning and arguing anymore since it would only lead to bitter fights and bigger misunderstandings. Therefore, I deem it best to keep my mouth shut for as long as I can take it and for as long my patience can stretch the extra mile.

My First Job Interview

Monday, January 10, 2005

I had my very first job interview today. I actually didn't expect it to be this soon but it certainly was a pleasant surprise. I received an unexpected call from Monde Nissin Saturday afternoon informing me of an opening in trade marketing. I e-mailed my resume the day before not knowing that there was actually a job opening. I was thinking I must just as well e-mail my resume just in case. I have nothing to lose anyway. The interview went pretty well. It was okay. I was surprisingly calm. I didn't feel intimidated or anything. I wasn't excited nor was I anxious. As in wala lang...I was more like N.R. siguro (hehe). It was only towards the latter part of the interview that the HR person gave a more detailed description of the trade marketing position. It was far from what I thought the job would be. Trade marketing...so what comes to mind? I initially thought it would involve handling the company's imports and exports accounts. From what I've understand now, it turns out though that it involves handling the company's below-the-line marketing which means having to supervise and check the company's products all over Metro Manila (And when I asked how far, as far as Cavite daw - LOL! I was thinking Paranaque or Alabang and I already wasn't willing to go that far). From time to time, work would also have to start very early in the morning (roughly around 5 to 6 am) and end late at night. And did I mention that there's whole day work in Monde Nissin every Saturday? If only the job position was one that I really like, I was even willing to give up my Saturdays. Unfortunately, I don't think the job position is for me. Honestly, I was a little disappointed. However, I came into the interview already prepared for whatever the outcome may be. Ultimately in the end, if it's really not meant to be...why force it?

Where's My Driver's License?

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Grrr! I just realized that I lost my driver’s license. I just had it renewed last August. Hassle! I perfectly remembered the time when I had it renewed. Let’s just say that the LTO needs to do some serious revamping – major overhaul is more like it. I believe that the process of applying and renewing licenses should be made more “customer” friendly or as in this case, driver friendly (?). We shouldn’t be put through the tedious process of applying and having to wait for long hours. To think it’s only the renewing of driver’s license. What more when applying for a new driver’s license? I’ve gone to the LTO to apply for a student’s permit, driver’s license and to renew my driver’s license. In all three occasions, it’s so hassle. There was quite a number of applicants and worse, the people behind LTO are so inefficient (so slow!). Not that I drive anyway (hehe). In fact, I don’t really drive which is precisely why from the time I renewed my license in August, it’s only now (January na!) that I realized I’ve lost my license na pala. I actually had no plans of even renewing my license after all my dad wouldn’t allow me to drive anyway. He’d always tell us (my sisters also) that he’d let us drive but we have to keep on practicing. Hmmm…we’ve been practicing for how many “years” na kaya? I lost track already. So when I told my mom that I lost my license and had no plans of applying again because it’s so hassle and I don’t really drive naman talaga, lo and behold! my mom said that I need my driver’s license because I would have to drive na rin daw soon. Take note: “soon” daw (haha yeah right!). Hello?! May I just say that my student’s permit and driver’s license expired already and I’ve driven the car twice only outside the village (with the driver in the passenger seat pa yun ah). We used to always have debates with my dad. The subject of the debate being...to allow us to drive. So since it didn’t look like my dad was going to allow us to drive any soon, I pretty much dropped the subject. With all the traffic, wreckless drivers who by the way think they're the kings of the road (special mention: jeepney, taxi and bus drivers), limited parking space, and with La Salle so far away (although I'm finished with school already), who would want to drive anyway? (hehe). Nevertheless, my main reason really why I wanted to drive na is so that I wouldn't have to depend on the driver all the time (right, right?!).

Selling the Drama

Friday, January 07, 2005

Life’s complicated – that’s a given. However, we make it even more complicated by wanting more. Man is insatiable. No matter how good life has been, we always ask for more, some more, and even more. How come we never pay attention anymore to the positive aspect of our lives or of what’s left of it? We’re too busy ranting, whining and complaining to even bother. It’s as if life has become an unrelenting saga overflowing with drama. It’s as if we’re trapped in some second-rate cheesy telenovela or soap opera. What’s with all the drama anyway? Have we already forgotten how to laugh every now and then? Perhaps this is a reason why happiness is so hard to come by these days. Temporary happiness? Still possible. Maybe. But real and long lasting happiness? I don’t think so. To keep us sane or of what’s left of our sanity, why not learn to laugh back at life instead? We’ve got to bring back the humor in life. In this day of age, I’m sorry to break it to you but there’s no more room for drama queens. There’s way too much drama in this world. Yes, we’ve got to cut the crap. If you don’t want to be eaten alive in this survival of the fittest world, we’ve got to stop all the drama and move on. Life isn’t a bed of roses or so I’ve been told, so get over it. Be contented. Learn to appreciate what you have then life would probably be much simpler and more so, we’d all be happier and all smiles now.

Healthier Options

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I’m so stuffed right now. It's my sister's birthday today so we had dinner in Makati Shangri La’s Circles. Nice place, good food. The place was unexpectedly quite full – well, for a weekday anyway. I’ve been eating to my heart's delight for the past few weeks or so and I rarely even run the treadmill anymore. FYI: I used to religiously run the treadmill for at least an hour to sometimes even 3 hours everyday. Heck! I was even enrolled in Fitness First Eastwood. Blame it on the so-called hectic schedule that I have in school or perhaps on sheer laziness (guilty!). Now that the holiday season is over and after constant reaffirmations of my new year’s resolution of healthy eating combined with daily exercise, I unsurprisingly find myself nowhere near the realization of my new year’s resolution (so what else is new? hehe). I haven’t got or hopped on the treadmill nor have I started eating healthily. Case in point is the alarmingly (hehe O.A. ba?) recurring takeouts in McDonalds (how can you resist their fries and chocolate sundae?) and KFC for lunch (their Go-go Dragon is yummy!). It also doesn't help at all that I have a sweet tooth. I just love desserts. To make matters worse, I’ve been sitting my butt off for the entirety of the day in front of either the computer (job hunting!) or TV (with The O.C. and One Tree Hill marathons) for the past three days. Although if I were to think about it, I really haven’t even had a week’s vacation - not including the holiday season - ever since school finished (Give me a break will you?). Technically speaking, I’m just on my 3rd day of vacation. Actually, I’m on a self-proclaimed vacation right now until further notice (wahaha). Since I have so much time in my hands right now and might I just add matter of factly I’m still very much into the job process, I’ve vowed to make the treadmill my best friend from here on out. I want to be fit not for any other reason but for myself to feel good and above all, for better health. Nothing but healthier options for me from now onwards and hopefully into the future. (Wish me luck! ;))

Makati Shangri La, Circles