Thursday, May 19, 2005
I'm feeling much better now. I have to thank my colleagues who helped me BIG time yesterday. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have finished our assignment at all. Yesterday, I was an emotional mess. For some unknown reason, I just felt like crying. I was actually crying! Throughout the day, I was feeling down. My morale was at its all time low. I really don't know why and couldn't explain "the feeling." As far as I can remember, I've never been like this before. I'm usually not the type who would openly cry in front of everyone else and I don't usually resort to crying whenever I'm down or troubled. There seems to be tons of reasons but ironically, I couldn't come up with one solid explanation.
Maybe it's because my family who's just visiting over the long weekend (FYI: Monday was a holiday here in Hong Kong) was already leaving for Manila. But what I couldn't understand is, it has already been my 3rd visit from family and so far, I never actually cried. Maybe homesickness is starting to set in. I really don't know. Maybe it's because I'm going to miss eating really really good meals (hahaha). The past few days that they've been here, I think I ate way too much. No complaints though (hehe sarap kasi! and it's good food).
Maybe it's because of the pressures of work. I'm having some difficulty in absorbing every new information. Work is hard as it is already and what makes it even harder is having to work with people who are already several steps higher than you. No matter how hard I try to convince and push myself, I couldn't match their years of experience. Coincidentally, we were given an assignment the other day that was due this morning. I was sort of struggling to create my program and felt so lost. But what I couldn't understand is, I've had even tougher assignments and somehow I was able to surprisingly hurdle all of it in the end. Maybe pent up frustrations are starting to pour in. I really don't know.
Maybe it's because of hormonal effects. Maybe I'm just PMS-ing. I'm not so sure either.
Maybe there are other subconscious reasons unknown to me. Who knows?
Whatever the reason, I'm okay now. I'm going back to my two-and-a-half-month old routine again. And yes, I'm trying to get my so-called groove back again. I guess it's just putting mind over matter.
Maybe it's because my family who's just visiting over the long weekend (FYI: Monday was a holiday here in Hong Kong) was already leaving for Manila. But what I couldn't understand is, it has already been my 3rd visit from family and so far, I never actually cried. Maybe homesickness is starting to set in. I really don't know. Maybe it's because I'm going to miss eating really really good meals (hahaha). The past few days that they've been here, I think I ate way too much. No complaints though (hehe sarap kasi! and it's good food).
Maybe it's because of the pressures of work. I'm having some difficulty in absorbing every new information. Work is hard as it is already and what makes it even harder is having to work with people who are already several steps higher than you. No matter how hard I try to convince and push myself, I couldn't match their years of experience. Coincidentally, we were given an assignment the other day that was due this morning. I was sort of struggling to create my program and felt so lost. But what I couldn't understand is, I've had even tougher assignments and somehow I was able to surprisingly hurdle all of it in the end. Maybe pent up frustrations are starting to pour in. I really don't know.
Maybe it's because of hormonal effects. Maybe I'm just PMS-ing. I'm not so sure either.
Maybe there are other subconscious reasons unknown to me. Who knows?
Whatever the reason, I'm okay now. I'm going back to my two-and-a-half-month old routine again. And yes, I'm trying to get my so-called groove back again. I guess it's just putting mind over matter.
3 comments:
hey there! been so long na... everyone goes throught hose emotional crap once in awhile. ako im really like that. pag im getting all rpessured na, i just cry it out for awhile then i'll be ok. parang in those few minutes of crying, u jus get to release the tension. then after, u go back to ur senses na. ;) u just have to find a really good friend to whine and rant to. how's things there? when will u be back? dinner ah when u come back. take care and just keep your cool. I know home sickness sets in a few mos after being away kasi shempre sa start feeling independent and free pa. haha but don't worry, its worth it sbra! hugs!
hey! long time no hear. it's so nice to hear from u. gotta have dinner together when i get back ha. i guess everyone has their "down" days. that sort of feeling was a first for me. yung tipong u just wanna cry for what seems like tons of reasons but u just really couldn't explain why. ya right after...i knocked some sense back into myself and tried to focus on all the positive and beautiful things instead.
she's not cousin lorraine. lorraine's a good friend from high school. we go way back.
i think it has also been a while since i last cried. but this was different because i didn't know why exactly. yup, crying can be good. you just have to let it all out once in a while. i felt much better afterwards.
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