Que Sara Sara

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Pre-Project Jitters

Monday, June 20, 2005

The original plan was for us to do one final project at the end of July as the culmination of our training. We were supposed to be given the entire month of July to do it. However, management has suddenly decided that they wanted us to also present to the regional head. And since we had to be squeezed in to her very busy schedule, they moved the final project to the last two weeks of June instead. So the final plan is for us to do a full presentation for our supervisors and an executive summary presentation for the regional head four days after. This is pressure in the superlative sense. I mean as if having to present to management wasn't nerve-wracking enough, they made matters worse by wanting us to present to the regional head and finish the project in just two weeks time! If there's anything that can console me right now, at least it's a group project. I couldn't possibly imagine doing all this by myself. After roughly four months of training, I haven't really learned the ropes yet. Honestly, I'm still clueless! I think I need more time to understand the ins and outs of this business. I hope I can remember whatever I've learned so far and my bosses in Manila wouldn't expect too much from me when I get back. Hay...what have I gotten myself into? I don't want to stress myself too much with work. If any, the work set-up and contract adds to the pressure and makes things a tad more complicated. I just wish everything will all work out in the end. Maybe I should be more confident and optimistic about all this and who knows...maybe it wouldn't be half as bad as I thought it would be.

Untitled

Friday, June 17, 2005

Would you dare to compete with the best knowing that defeat is already a certainty? As much as we hate losing, nobody is perfect. Whichever way, there'll always be winners and losers. It's only a matter of who’s willing to take the hit. The problem though lies in the fact that we have a hard time admitting and accepting defeat. We always think that we're so much better. Blame it on swollen egos and pride. So what is it to be the best anyway? Sure it makes us feel good about ourselves but for how long? As they say, you're only as good as your last performance. As much as we want to, we can't be the best all the time. Whether we like it or not, somebody is surely going to be bigger and better the next time around. Don't get me wrong, there is no doubt in my mind that we should strive to be the best but if we came up short, it doesn't exactly make us less of a person. More than anything else, we should dare to fail and stop hiding under the false pretenses that perfection is the end all and be all. The thing is, mediocrity is very much part of life no matter how much denying and pretending we do.

Working My Way

Saturday, June 11, 2005

So what have I been up to for the past couple of months now?

According to our syllabus, the objective of the CFG Analytics MA Training Program (a.k.a. Camp David) is to train and develop a batch of talented, ambitious and analytics-oriented analysts to help further transform AIG CFG into an information-driven and analytical decision making organization.

Upon completion of training, we are expected to take on the role of Consumer Finance Analysts – able to analyze potential risks, formulate quantitative approaches and recommendations to solve business challenges, monitor systems and tools for portfolio performance analysis such as to comprehend very concrete technical and business knowledge, from profit and risk dynamics to in-depth portfolio performance analysis, from credit score fundamentals to technique of developing customer segmentation through use of data mining algorithm, about unsecured and secured consumer finance products, etc.

For someone who has never really liked mathematics or pretty much anything quantitative based, I wonder how on earth I ended up with this job. I almost didn’t take this job though because I knew that it was going to deal with a whole lot of “numbers” and I wasn’t so sure if it was something that I wanted to “force” or get myself into. However, I was just too overwhelmed by everything that came with the job offer so I sweet talked my way in the interviews. And after three months worth of training, I find myself wanting to give up. There are days when I really feel like quitting. Everyday is a hurdle. Everything is a challenge to me now. Is this what work is supposed to be like? I mean Hong Kong and the people I work with are all good but work in itself is just frustratingly hard. Perhaps I’m not as ambitious as I thought I was. I’ve always dreamed big but maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Or perhaps this is something that I have to do in the meantime to make me change for the better and potentially achieve something greater. And sometimes taking the easy way out isn’t exactly going to take us anywhere so inspite of everything, I took the road less traveled and maybe it will make all the difference.

1 x 7

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I’ve been here in HK for a good whole three months already and I must say that I’ve managed my finances relatively well or so I thought. I would like to think that I haven’t really been spending that much. I mean I haven’t done any serious shopping at all. I occasionally buy here and there but nothing really big or super extravagant so far. Not that I’m on a tight budget or anything but it’s a conscious decision to try to "reasonably" save as much as possible. A bulk of my expenses go to basic necessities. Well mostly on food that is and take note it doesn’t even take that much to make me “busog.” Since day one, I started listing down day to day expenses to take into account how much I’ve been spending or saving for that matter and all this time, I’ve been darn proud of how well I’ve moderately managed my finances. So when I was calculating three months’ worth of finances, I was left dumbfounded. Initially, the numbers staring right back at me seemed alright – at least not until I start converting them to Philippine peso anyway (hehe). I have no idea how much an average “Hongkie” spends in a week but most certainly under Philippine standards, it’s just over and above what an average single person would spend in a week. It’s more than a whole month’s worth of groceries for an entire household of six! To think, we’re only talking about personal expenses discounting rent, electricity and the like. And to think this is only HK that we're speaking of so what more can we get out of our peso's worth in the US or Europe? I guess the standards of living are higher so the costs are different. Hmm…maybe I shouldn’t bother converting to peso anymore otherwise everything will always either seem more expensive or unreasonably priced. On the other hand, everything will seem so much cheaper when I get back to Manila. So is that good news or bad news? (hehe)

Seductively Slim

Friday, June 03, 2005

Umm...definitely not referring to myself (hehe) but rather to my new Sony T7 Cybershot camera (well according to the ads). I’m so psyched to use it. Ever since I’ve gotten it, I’ve been wanting to tinker away and browse through the manuals but just didn’t have the time to do so because I’ve been so swamped with work the entire week. Grabe, I don’t even have time to do my chores anymore. I was already planning to buy a new camera for myself but haven't really decided whether to splurge or not. If ever, I was choosing between the Sony T7 and Ixus 700 but maybe leaning more towards the Sony T7. Then two weeks ago when they visited me here, my auntie Kathie surprised me by giving me her IXUS. Although it wasn't the Sony T7 or Ixus 700 that I wanted, just the same I was more than happy and contented. And when they spent the last weekend here (as a result of my cousin's continued persistence of wanting to go back to HK just barely two weeks after their trip here), to my surprise (again!) she bought me the Sony T7 and exchanged it for the Ixus. I was telling her that she really didn’t have to buy me a new one. I was also “nahihiya” since there wasn’t really any special occasion. It was certainly a delightful surprise though. It's a sleek camera with tons of functions that I have yet to read up on. Again, thank you auntie Kathie! =)