Color Me Blue

Friday, July 08, 2005

Don't we all have those days when we just want to be left alone (with matching sad songs playing in the background, hehe)? Well, this is one of those days for me. Ironically though, today's a very important day. We had this whole pressure-packed presentation to top management thing and the Graduation Awards and Dinner after. Gosh, having to plaster or put on a huge smile all day is kind of tiring. I really don't feel like chatting or doing anything else with other people. In short, gusto ko magpaka-loner. I don't know but somehow I'm feeling really down right now. I feel sad but not as in the problematic depressed type of sad - just sad. I'm so out of my element right now. I feel helpless and to some degree, hopeless. Everything seems to be going all wrong for me. As a result of all these unfavorable experiences, it seems that I've already lost the enthusiasm or eagerness to try new things and push myself towards achieving bigger goals. I feel disheartened and at a loss for some sort of control in my life right now. Although rationally speaking, I think I know what I have to do to get pass all these but lately and my general sentiment as of the moment is, my mind tells me to do something but my heart isn't exactly where it's supposed to be. I guess I'm just not feeling it anymore.