Blah

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

We did our initial presentation this morning. Management said it was "okay" (at least they were polite). But really, it was a disaster. My thoughts were so disoriented that I totally flubbed the flow of my presentation. As if things couldn't get any worse, I couldn't come up with a decent answer to management's questions. Unbelievably, I couldn't even think of a single bullshit or palusot to save my sorry ass. I just stood there feeling totally helpless and not even my groupmates could come to my rescue! Needless to say, this was my worst presentation ever. At first, there was that strong feeling of defeat and resignation. Right now though, I just feel blah. I actually don't know what to feel anymore. I'm sick and tired of constantly worrying and pressuring myself with anything work-related that I really couldn't care less anymore. I feel numb or for lack of better word, "manhid." If you think of it, hasn't it always been just a matter of wanting to impress or to create a good perception in the eyes of others? So what, if they were disappointed or if they had the wrong impression or if they have a different / unfavorable opinion of you? Although rejection is like a slap in the face, it's something that we all have to learn to deal with. It hurts but no matter how good you think you are, you just couldn't please everyone. We still have another presentation for the regional head on Friday and they're telling us to expect even more questions coming our way. Hay, I'm so over this whole HK experience. 3 more weeks and counting...I think I'm ready to go home now.