Allergic Reaction

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Have you ever felt like having an allergic reaction towards something? No matter how funny or weird this may sound, I think guys or men have some sort of “allergic” – for lack of a better word – reaction to me. I don’t know why. I take a bath everyday and I brush my teeth as what any normal person would do. Perhaps I’m missing something out. Whatever the reason may be, I’m totally clueless. I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if I’m sending a different signal. Possibly, the signal is too weak for them to even detect or notice (haha). I admittedly blame myself for the fact that I’m very shy and may often come off as aloof. I rarely initiate conversations and I’m usually self-conscious. However, I’m slowly learning to come out of my shell and be more open minded about these kinds of things. I can now say that the effort to reach out and communicate is there. Believe me, I try. I can’t seem to understand though that for the odd and few times that I feel like being friendly or sociable towards them, I can’t seem to get any reaction at all or even a typical reaction – the least. I could only get a word or two, nothing more and nothing less. I mean it’s not like my intentions are something out of the ordinary – it's as platonic as it can be, no malice or any romantic intentions whatsoever. Really, it’s just purely for conversation’s sake or in some really good cases, just wanting to know a person more. It frustrates me how unresponsive men can be. I couldn’t get them to respond the way I want them to or I expect them to be. I mean, come on…it’s not like I’m hitting on them and I want a relationship (duh!). From a conservative’s point of view, men should generally (take note: not all the time but usually) be the initiators. Meaning, they should make the first move whatever their intentions may be – whether as friends or anything more than that. I’ve always believe that real good men are those who know how to treat a girl or woman right regardless of the status and degree of their relationship. The problem lies in the fact that most men choose specifically who they want to treat right. I mean I don’t expect men to treat all women like queens or extra special – basic proper etiquette and manners will do (jeez!). As in my case, I guess men have their own reasons too. Whatever their reasons may be, I can never really tell. Maybe they have to take more vitamins to withstand or counteract whatever tiny allergic reaction that I may cause. But then again, maybe it’s just me - so what else is new? As some would like to put it, they find me a little too intimidating or unapproachable. Yeah right, I don't think real men get scared that easily. Or just maybe…real men are just damn too hard to find these days.