Saturday, October 16, 2004
I watched Wimbledon today in Rockwell. It’s funny how despite the conditions and positions the characters were in when they first met, who would have known they would end up falling for each other? It wasn’t planned or anything. It wasn’t even the best “first meeting.” In fact, it was anything but perfect – it was awkward, humiliating, unexpected and outrageous. I guess everything doesn’t have to be picture perfect always. When it comes to love…when it hits you, it hits you hard. Before you’ve even realize it, you’ve already fallen in love.
Love is all around but ironically, I think I'm lost or perhaps, has love lost its way? As JC Chasez's Build My World would put it "someone for everyone but no one for me..." I’d often get the dreaded question Do you have a boyfriend? and I’d awkwardly answer the usual No. As if my answer isn’t good enough, they’d even follow it up with a series of Why’s or How Come? They’d mostly have matching shocked or I’m sorry expressions as if something’s wrong with me. As if that wasn’t terrible already, they’d continue on with their own theories of my being single - usually that I’m mapili, aloof, unapproachable and what-have-you - but the truth of the matter is, they don't know a single thing about me and they don't have a clue of how I feel. You can just imagine how uncomfortable it makes me feel so I’d just politely shrug my shoulders and subtly change the topic in the hopes that they’d start moving on to more interesting things to talk about. I used to not mind others' pestering my non-existent love life but I guess you reach a point when all the talk gets a little tiring already or maybe I'm succumbing to the pressures of still being single at 22. Whichever the case, I need a break!
All the whole love affairs and talks have made me start thinking about "single-hood" or "single-dom." So after much thought, I’ve considered the following:
Physical attraction. On both sides, maybe there isn’t just any physical attraction to begin with. We have to admit that looks initially matter. There must be some sort of attraction towards each other to start the ball rolling. The superficiality of beauty though is not what keeps a relationship going. At the end of it all, personality will still be the deciding factor. After all, beauty is only skin deep.
Circumstances. Circumstances make it difficult or perhaps impossible to find love. First, there’s too many missed opportunities if not, the lack of it. Second, there’s just way too many factors involved like family, friends, work, beliefs, tradition, and culture, among others. In some ways, circumstances do impose limitations on us. Circumstances are uncontrollable. It will really depend on how we can best respond or react to whatever circumstances that we come face to face with.
Compatibility. Not all personalities match. Companionship is of utmost importance in a relationship. It’s hard to find that someone who you can totally relate to and understand unconditionally – regardless. Unfortunately whether because of poor judgment (really first impressions never last), pride or just plain fate, it is not so very often that we get the chance to get to know a person really well no matter how much we would have liked to. Hence, what could have been a budding lifelong and meaningful friendship OR romance will forever be just that – a could have been.
Timing. Love will come around. You can’t force love to come nor can you hurry love. We have to wait patiently. I guess all it takes is just perfect timing – you have to be at the right place at the right time.
On love and on being single: Love is a funny thing. You can find it, lose it or search for it all your life. All our lives, we search for someone to love, someone to make our life complete. As for me, I'm not expecting too much anymore but neither have I given up just yet.
Love is all around but ironically, I think I'm lost or perhaps, has love lost its way? As JC Chasez's Build My World would put it "someone for everyone but no one for me..." I’d often get the dreaded question Do you have a boyfriend? and I’d awkwardly answer the usual No. As if my answer isn’t good enough, they’d even follow it up with a series of Why’s or How Come? They’d mostly have matching shocked or I’m sorry expressions as if something’s wrong with me. As if that wasn’t terrible already, they’d continue on with their own theories of my being single - usually that I’m mapili, aloof, unapproachable and what-have-you - but the truth of the matter is, they don't know a single thing about me and they don't have a clue of how I feel. You can just imagine how uncomfortable it makes me feel so I’d just politely shrug my shoulders and subtly change the topic in the hopes that they’d start moving on to more interesting things to talk about. I used to not mind others' pestering my non-existent love life but I guess you reach a point when all the talk gets a little tiring already or maybe I'm succumbing to the pressures of still being single at 22. Whichever the case, I need a break!
All the whole love affairs and talks have made me start thinking about "single-hood" or "single-dom." So after much thought, I’ve considered the following:
Physical attraction. On both sides, maybe there isn’t just any physical attraction to begin with. We have to admit that looks initially matter. There must be some sort of attraction towards each other to start the ball rolling. The superficiality of beauty though is not what keeps a relationship going. At the end of it all, personality will still be the deciding factor. After all, beauty is only skin deep.
Circumstances. Circumstances make it difficult or perhaps impossible to find love. First, there’s too many missed opportunities if not, the lack of it. Second, there’s just way too many factors involved like family, friends, work, beliefs, tradition, and culture, among others. In some ways, circumstances do impose limitations on us. Circumstances are uncontrollable. It will really depend on how we can best respond or react to whatever circumstances that we come face to face with.
Compatibility. Not all personalities match. Companionship is of utmost importance in a relationship. It’s hard to find that someone who you can totally relate to and understand unconditionally – regardless. Unfortunately whether because of poor judgment (really first impressions never last), pride or just plain fate, it is not so very often that we get the chance to get to know a person really well no matter how much we would have liked to. Hence, what could have been a budding lifelong and meaningful friendship OR romance will forever be just that – a could have been.
Timing. Love will come around. You can’t force love to come nor can you hurry love. We have to wait patiently. I guess all it takes is just perfect timing – you have to be at the right place at the right time.
On love and on being single: Love is a funny thing. You can find it, lose it or search for it all your life. All our lives, we search for someone to love, someone to make our life complete. As for me, I'm not expecting too much anymore but neither have I given up just yet.
1 comments:
ive been getting that as well. but it doesnt really bother me much. just answer truthfully and "next topic puh-lease!"
right now, im enjoying single-hood. but then sometimes, i miss being with someone. being this love-ful person, makes me seek a 'better half." not just for the heck of it or having just someone. theres this inner happiness and peace i get with loving this special someone. (taking care of him and being loved in return) it may sound weird, i know. but comparing the two sides of being single and having someone, id choose having someone. IN SPITE of all the lq's and what nots.
love. just a four letter word. but when it strikes, words will never be enough. hey, it'll just come for us. if not today, tomorrow then.
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