Deal or No Deal

Friday, June 23, 2006

Before entering into any contract, you have to think real hard. You have to be more than a hundred times sure that it's what you want, that it's what your heart desires. If the aforementioned is lacking then you better be sure that you have the balls to follow through. Contracts are no laughing matter. You have to be dead set and serious about committing yourself. Sure, other people's opinion especially those close to you, will matter but no one but you will ultimately have the final decision. No matter how hard you try, you can never please everyone anyway. It's not so much about making the popular decision. Rather, it's about making the right decision, one that you're comfortable with. And it's your life after all, not theirs.

However as expected, there are no guarantees. Hence, be always prepared for the worst case scenario. Have a PLAN B, if you will. Having the courage and patience to face and deal with whatever complications and/or consequences that may arise is crucially important. By all means, you have to stick to your guns. You have to stand by your decision. Well unless it's life changing or threatening or you seriously and truthfully can no longer take it anymore then maybe it's okay to want out. Otherwise, you have to be strong enough to hold on tightly for the long haul. It's tough to be tied down by a contract that keeps you from doing freely the things that you're more inclined to do. Worse, it limits you from moving on. From the onset, I had my doubts. I already knew that this wasn't something that I really like or will excel in for that matter. It's not something that I'd see myself happily doing repetitively day in and day out for a long period of time. I knew my limitations. Anything that's either too technical or mathematical is definitely one. I had some reservations. Not being able to enjoy myself and excel are just a couple. But still, I chose the popular decision anyway. While I may have been persuaded, I put no blame on anyone. It was I who signed the contract. It was I who consented to the whole thing. More than the obvious reasons (e.g., family's and other people's expectations, chance to train and live abroad by myself, sizeable training compensation), I took it as a challenge upon myself. I really wanted to learn and hone whatever mathematical or technical skills that I may have left hidden or undiscovered. I know it really wasn't my cup of tea but I wanted to try it out and force myself to learn and like the analytical side of things. I'm not so sure though if it's the job per se that doesn't fit me well, the company I'm working for, or maybe it's the whole corporate world that's getting into me. I mean, the job is quite interesting though but I just don't see myself growing in this company. Maybe I'm just not cut out for all this. Maybe I'm just not fit enough to climb the ladder. Honestly, I have constantly entertained the thought of calling it quits. But deep down, I know that I haven't really exhausted all my options yet. I know that there are still ways and means to make this work. And no matter how unfavorable the situation is or circumstances are, this is still something that can be dealt with accordingly. I know I can make this work if I really want to. I know that I haven't given my very best and maybe if I tried hard enough, I'd be able to pull through with flying colors. I know that eventually something good will come out of this whole experience. I may have gone through a one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride barely six months into the contract but it feels as if I've already gained so much more. I've learned a lot about the business. I've learned how to deal with different kinds of people. I've learned how to face hardships and challenges straight in the eye. Most importantly, I've learned a whole lot about myself. Now that I'm going close to a year and half into my contract, I literally feel stronger and a tad bit wiser. I know I can't quit - especially not now. And despite all the trouble and everything that has happened in the past year and a half, I'm still a-okay and I don't think there's a need for any sort of exit plan or strategy just yet. I've decided I'll take my chances. I'm not going to take the easy way out. So in the meantime though, I'm in this for better or worst for as long as I can endure. And so my answer is, no deal! (no pun intended!)

0 comments: