All Worked Out

Saturday, November 03, 2007

I was finally able to successfully drag my lazy ass to the treadmill after months and months of postponing. It has been long overdue so it was a good start for me. I had a couple of days off work so I had some leeway (no more excuses this time). I can't imagine how I'd used to run the treadmill almost everyday of the week. Heck, I was even one of the pioneer members of Fitness First in Libis (i.e., the first branch in the Philippines). I was a gym rat. Well back then, that is. I even used to play badminton every week. Geez, whatever happened to my fitness regimen after all these years?! (hehe). I guess it went kaput as soon as I started working my way up the corporate ladder (I'm still at the bottom though, haha). I had a really good workout awhile ago. I think it was just what I needed - I needed some endorphins especially after recent events that have started to slow and bring me down. So now I plan to squeeze in some quality time with the treadmill at least once or twice a week starting today. Wish me luck.

And oh yeah, enough of the drama shiz and all these conspiracy theories and what have you. I've just had about enough. It seems useless and futile to even try. Next, please.

Just to Clarify

Friday, November 02, 2007

If something wrong or untrue has been said about me, I’d rather know. No matter how messy and ugly, I want to know. I want to know even if it’s tantamount to opening Pandora’s box.

I want to know so I can defend myself properly. I want to know so I can clarify things and prove them wrong. I don’t want to fight - not even close. Thank God, I’m not an angry person. I can talk and sit through an entire confrontation without having to shout, curse or resort to any physical action.

I’m a person of principles (and opinons). If the issue concerns me and most especially if it’s totally nowhere near the freakin' truth, I will not let it pass just for the sake of peace and harmony. It’s so unfair to jump the gun and accuse me of saying something that I never actually said or as the case may be of doing something that I never did. I’m not going to take things sitting down and pretend as if everything's rosy and picture perfect, as if I didn’t hear anything or as if nothing happened. I’m willing to get down and dirty just to sort things out and get to the bottom of the issue. I will stand up for what I believe is right and for the principles I hold. What is important to me is being able to speak my mind and get my message across. After which, wala na akong pakialam ano pa man ang sasabihin nila patungkol sa akin. They already have preconceived biases and judgments about me anyway and nothing I say or do can change their minds. I really can’t do anything anymore if some people are so stubborn and close minded. I can only do so much, you know.

And if ever I was wrong, I'll be the bigger person and admit my mistake. It’s not easy but we should all learn to humble ourselves. I wouldn’t lash out on other people for my own mistakes. I wouldn’t drag other issues to cover for my own mistakes. Most of all, I wouldn’t use anger as my defense. Don't get me wrong, it's normal to get angry. What's not normal is to let anger control you and get the best out of you.

Before, I really can’t understand how some people can get so angry to the point na kulang nalang kakainin na sila ng buhay ng galit nila (yep that bad!). However through the years, I've observed and I've come to comprehend (note: not understand) that oftentimes people are most angry when they have erred and wronged someone else. Isn't it ironic?

If only we can do away with anger and all the other excess baggage, we'd most probably be able to do so much more. More so our lives would be so much lighter, easier and better. To borrow a quote that I've read somewhere, “Don’t get angry, get smart.” For the record, I'm not angry and I wasn't angry. All I wanted to do was to clarify the issue, defend myself (by getting all the facts straight from the horse's mouth) and prove you wrong, which I believe I eventually did. You didn't have to get all angry.

Boxed Out

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I hate it when people try to put me in a box.

Just hate it, seriously.

You think you know me but you don’t.

Just because we’re different, it doesn’t make you any better than me.

Just because I may deviate from the usual or what is perceived to be usual, it doesn’t make you right either.

Believe me, I’m more than you think I am and no box can ever define the person that I am and limit the potential that I can achieve.

The box is all yours.

Thanks anyway.

Choosing Between the Heart and the Mind

Saturday, October 27, 2007

When it comes to love, relationships and life in general, should we use our mind more than our heart? Would it be more adviseable to be more rational and/or practical rather than go all emotional? Does it have to be this complicated, really? Of course, it would be best if we could create a perfect or at least a good enough balance and sense of our rationales and emotions. However the fact of the matter is, our rationales and emotions usually don't go hand in hand. Most often than not, they work in exact opposite directions so much so we end up a hell lot more lost and confused than ever. Therefore, should I just go with my gut feel even if it has a hit and miss ratio of, if I were being optimistic - 20 to 70 or if I were to be conservative, 10 to 90?

I know I can never be sure of the outcome but if and when that I do get stuck in such a situation where I would have to choose or make a decision (hopefully not or never or nothing serious if ever), I wish I'd always know what I want and that I'd have the courage to go for it and fight for it, if necessary. I wish I'd trust myself more and be bold enough to face fear, failure and rejection in the eye. And if at the end of it all I was wrong, I wish I'd still have the strength to pick up the pieces and get back up again. I think for whatever its worth though, the real important thing is to be able to live life with no (or little) regrets in spite of the consequences of the risks we took - and didn't take.

On Perspective

Thursday, October 25, 2007

A glass half empty is a glass half full.

It’s simply a matter of perspective.

So which is it going to be?

Uh...half full?

No matter how tough the going gets, I believe that at the end of the day I still have a whole lot more reasons to be thankful for.

So yeah...mine's definitely half full.

Fear-less and Faith-full

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

After the very unfortunate incident in G2, I can’t help but be a tad more paranoid than usual when going to malls most especially when we go about our usual lunch and/or coffee break at Mega or Shang. Nakakapraning man, I was in Shang Monday and Mega today so hurray to me for braving the malls so soon. This, after giving out a press release last Sunday that I would avoid the malls at least for the entire week (hehe). However, I felt that the atmosphere in the mall was sort of different last Monday or most probably praning lang talaga ako (hehe). It may not be quite clear yet whether the incident was a blast or bomb, accidental or intentional but I think it has surely, to varying degrees, sowed fear in the general public – myself included (Oo praning ako!). Hassle talaga.

The good thing though is people seem unfazed as the malls aren’t exactly empty as most would probably expect. I guess in all aspects of our life, we shouldn’t let fear stop us from doing what we want, from speaking our mind, from expressing our feelings, from fulfilling our heart's desires, from living life. We have just got to keep the faith – always.

Never Shall We Fail

Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Animo spirit lives on...

We're back. We're one. We're #1. Wooohooo! Despite the criticisms, we were definitely the better team. We are the champions and nobody can take that away from us. Wooohooo! Ang saya.

I've been sporting this desktop wallpaper ever since our win against Ateneo. Coolness. Check it out!This was taken during our all or nothing game against Ateneo. I'm somewhere in the middle in the sea of green. You can find me second row right smack at the middle of the lower box section. You may want to use a magnifying glass though. Haha.

The Week That Was

Friday, October 05, 2007

Thank God it’s Friday. Thank God the week is over. Phew!

Sans for Monday (Yep, still rejoicing from Sunday’s win over Ateneo), this week wasn’t all that good for me. It pretty much went downhill from Monday.

Recap:

Monday was really good. I was in very high spirits. I was in a celebratory mood. Fearless forecast of my officemates last Friday was La Salle was going to lose to Ateneo. Naturally, I was the only one betting on La Salle to win. And of course, we won! Keep the faith nga.

I can’t remember anything from Tuesday so it was okay, I guess.

Wednesday was when I started feeling sick. As soon as I hopped off my bed, I wasn’t feeling well already. I had to endure the entire whole day and try my best to shrug and shake the sick feeling off. It had been a tiring day as well with all the work that I had to do and I was also having some confusion on this certain project. I think the workload sort of aggravated my being sick. Worse, the day continued to drag on even as I got home already because I got two missed calls, a text, two phone calls and a text again from my boss. And yeah, a not so good letter was also waiting for me when I got home. The first time my boss called I didn’t answer because I was having dinner. I got home late for dinner as it is. I need a break! As a result of my non-answer, I then got a text to which I once again didn’t reply to. As I got off the shower, I had another missed call and this time a phone call at home. I was thinking what does she so urgently need from me that can’t wait until tomorrow? Eventually I had to give in to her calls as yes, you guess it right...she did call again. As if that wasn’t enough, she texted past 9 pm if I could still give her a call. I mean, seriously?! I had no energy left – kumbaga empty tank, no batt, no load. I was in bed already even before the clock struck 9 pm. With regards to the letter, I guess it's just not meant to be. I'll just have to try and try again until I succeed.

Thursday was the worst. I think I’ve never gotten into so much trouble for going to work. Early in the morning, I got several very irate calls and a long angry (and unreasonable and illogical) text from my mom as she specifically told me the night before to skip work and get some rest. I also had a missed call from my dad. Sheesh, I was feeling better already so I decided to go to work already. I wasn’t really trying to be some martyr (duh!). More so I had a couple of deliverables (hello? hinahanap nga ako ng boss ko diba?) so I’d surely be condemned for not going to work. Coincidentally also, it was DLSU vs UE finals so they’d surely think I skipped work for the game. I undeniably wanted to watch the game live real badly but I’ve already decided days before that I won’t skip work anymore (will power!) so I didn't order tickets anymore. I definitely don’t want to give them the chance or opportunity to think negatively about me most especially I wasn't really planning on doing some mischief in the first place. My conscience is clear (hehe). Puwede pa siguro or matatanggap ko pa if talagang manonood ako ng game live noh.

Well as if thinking that going to work would save my ass, boy was I wrong. Later in the day, I got into huge trouble with my boss. She was so freakin’ pissed at me. She was really loud about it. I think the entire floor must’ve already heard her. It doesn’t help that she keeps on repeating my name (Candice...yadi yadi yada. Candice...blah blah blah - with a matching exasperated and irritated tone). She even had to call the entire department for an emergency meeting. Yeah...whatever.

My officemate was telling me after that my boss was demeaning and I guess she was surprised or questioning why I had no reaction at all. I didn’t even complain or make a fuss out of it as I would’ve probably normally done. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling anything anymore at that point. I was just so resigned that day. I had to deal with my mom in the morning and in the afternoon, I had to deal with my boss. I was so over this whole situation. Kebs na talaga ako, as in. I was already looking forward to my bed (hehe). Surprisingly wala na talaga akong pakialam.

Friday was going to be a good day - I thought. It was supposed to be better since my boss had to attend a training in Makati – that was more than enough reason to rejoice, seriously! It was all good until I got my hands burned in KFC. I accidentally poured hot gravy in my hands. It hurt so much. Grabe talaga. Buti nalang the manager reacted quickly. The funny thing is, the manager had the ointment for burns and a cold compress ready so I can only infer that this wasn't the first time that this sort of thing happened. I must say safety hazard ang gravy station ng KFC. Beware guys!

My officemates were telling me that it’s a good thing that it's Friday already since my luck is kinda running low already. They were joking that maybe this was as a result of my being too happy last Monday. Hehe kasalanan bang magsaya? So does this mean I'll have to tone down on the happiness level? Should I lie-low on the happiness front? Nah, happy days are here to stay. So after all the hullabaloo, here's to nothing but better days ahead...I hope!