Friday, March 16, 2007
This is one of those days when I just want to drop everything and hand in my resignation letter - well more like shove it in my boss's face.
Thank God it's Friday.
Resignation
Kaput!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
My laptop just crashed on me. Just imagine three years worth of data (and even memories) all gone. This is so frustrating and stressful! I’ve been to several computer shops already and it seems that my hard drive is no longer recoverable – ayayayay!. In short, puwede ng itapon yung hard drive ko. To think, I’ve been meaning to back-up my files for quite some time now but just haven’t gotten around to actually doing it. Tough luck talaga.
I don’t want to go all sappy and relate this whole thing to philosophical thoughts about life. But really, sa kahit ano mang bagay naman sa buhay, it is really hard to let go of anything that you’ve invested your time and energy in. Like in my case, you can say that I’ve lost everything altogether – all the school and work documents (and yes, even my downloaded music) that I’ve worked hard for to varying degrees and have kept for safekeeping all these years. The most frustrating of all though is losing all the pictures! Those were just irreplaceable – imagine all the captured memories na puwede kong balik-balikan (sana). Hassle talaga.
So I’m back at one – starting again with a clean fresh slate. A brand new hard drive for my laptop, that is. I have yet to use my laptop though since I can’t seem to find the drivers for my laptop. Heck, I was pretty damn sure that the CDs weren’t included in the box. Sorry for my ignorance but ngayon ko lang nalaman what the drivers were for. So here I am now left with no other choice but to use the family desktop which by the way has lost its color function (forgot the technical part of the computer that got screwed up). Unless I find someone with the same laptop as mine, I would’ve to painstakingly download each driver from the internet. Nalito na nga ako sa dami eh. Grrr talaga.
So to everyone…it’s plain and simple. It’s always good to have a back-up. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.
I don’t want to go all sappy and relate this whole thing to philosophical thoughts about life. But really, sa kahit ano mang bagay naman sa buhay, it is really hard to let go of anything that you’ve invested your time and energy in. Like in my case, you can say that I’ve lost everything altogether – all the school and work documents (and yes, even my downloaded music) that I’ve worked hard for to varying degrees and have kept for safekeeping all these years. The most frustrating of all though is losing all the pictures! Those were just irreplaceable – imagine all the captured memories na puwede kong balik-balikan (sana). Hassle talaga.
So I’m back at one – starting again with a clean fresh slate. A brand new hard drive for my laptop, that is. I have yet to use my laptop though since I can’t seem to find the drivers for my laptop. Heck, I was pretty damn sure that the CDs weren’t included in the box. Sorry for my ignorance but ngayon ko lang nalaman what the drivers were for. So here I am now left with no other choice but to use the family desktop which by the way has lost its color function (forgot the technical part of the computer that got screwed up). Unless I find someone with the same laptop as mine, I would’ve to painstakingly download each driver from the internet. Nalito na nga ako sa dami eh. Grrr talaga.
So to everyone…it’s plain and simple. It’s always good to have a back-up. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.
Individualism
Friday, December 22, 2006
Just because everybody’s doing it and just because it's the popular decision or thing to do or way to go, doesn’t mean I have to follow suit. It's just a matter of truly knowing what you want and being absolutely comfortable with it. Gaya gaya puto maya.
Less Talk, Less Trouble
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
With the merger and all the changes that are being implemented, our department seems to be split apart. The line isn’t as obvious yet but pretty soon, it’s going to manifest itself in the form of clashing personalities (and cat fights?). Some people are already scrambling and holding on to dear positions and posts (pati upuan!) while others – like me – couldn’t care less. Well I try to be as apathetic as I can be. I just don’t want to get involved with all the politicking and brouhaha. I deem it best to just leave it up to the “bosses.” I may not be a big fan of my boss but I guess she still has my loyalty however waning it may be (you can call me a martyr now). Nonetheless, I’m staying neutral as much as and for as long as I can. I’m going to try my damn best to mind my own business. I don’t want to take sides and I definitely don’t want to be caught in the middle either. From the looks of it though, it seems like I’m heading towards the middle. And so to remedy the situation, I’ve pledged to keep my silence. That is, to keep my lips zipped locked until such time when things start to cool down, when the battle gears are dropped. From this day onwards, I'm on a self-imposed gag. Basta trabaho lang. Basta stick to the facts lang. So does this mean an exciting and interesting year ahead? Good luck!
Goodbye Planner
Friday, December 08, 2006
Hassle, I lost my Starbucks card. I was about to complete my 12th sticker already. Sayang talaga. It’s a good thing I wasn’t really all out on completing the entire card. I was just nakikisabay or nakikigulo lang sa mga tao, more like having an excuse to go to Starbucks everyday. Oh well, on a positive note, at least I made somebody else’s day. My officemate says otherwise though, sabi niya sa akin...di bale lalaki naman ang ilong niya for not returning it (haha!). I guess it's my fault. How could I have been so careless? Buti nalang, it's not something that I feel strongly about.
Lesson learned: never take the smallest of things for granted.
Lesson learned: never take the smallest of things for granted.
The Devil Wears Prada?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
It has nothing to do with the job. It suddenly hit me. It's not the job that I hate. It's not the job that makes me miserable from time to time. I've already proven to myself that this is something that I can actually do. I believe that this job has a huge potential in terms of growth and opportunities and most especially if I were to improve and immerse myself even more. I have a long way to go but I know I'll get there – slowly but surely. I suddenly realized that my boss is actually the primary reason why I'm so adamant on handing in my resignation letter. If only I could or as the case being if I were permitted by my parents, I'd resign even before the expiration of my contract. She's not your typical in-your-face terror kind of boss. Her style is very subtle that it’s barely distinguishable. She’s an obsessive compulsive smart ass. It seems that nothing is good enough. She never fails to find a loophole to the point that she'd even take notice of very trivial details. And no matter how much justification, she will always have something to say (read: mahilig siyang mang-bara). I feel helpless as I can't really answer back without coming off as disrespectful. After all, she still is my boss. There is still that demarcation line between a superior and a subordinate. Unless it's below the belt, I have no choice but to act like a true professional. Pinasukan ko ito kaya kailangan ko ng panindigan. If I'm used to speaking my mind at home or wherever, I have to restrain myself at work. Maybe I'm taking things a little too personally? Or who knows, maybe she's doing all these things on purpose for whatever reason she has. I'm giving her though the benefit of the doubt for now. I honestly have nothing against her character per se. Moreover, having started at the bottom and having almost a decade of experience tucked under her belt, she does know her craft quite well. I just don't like her style of managing people. I will not go into details anymore. Ang dating lang sa akin is kailangan pahirapan talaga even if you don't really have to. Kaya sometimes talaga I can't help but feel that it's not worth it anymore. Kasimple-simpleng bagay na nga lang as going home, kailangan mo pang paghirapan.
Someone asked me what will make me stay. As of this writing, I don't think anything can and will make me stay – not even a promotion or a raise. At this point, I couldn't care less what other people will make out of my decision. I don't care about those raised eyebrows anymore. I guess I've passed that stage already. I really don't see the point of staying when I no longer see myself growing and when the goals I've established at the onset are no longer achievable. Maybe I was just expecting too much out of all this and or maybe I'm just in a rush to want things to happen right away. Ang akin lang kasi, whichever side you look at it, we have the training already safely tucked under our names and that was what supposedly will give us the "edge". There are those who will argue that all the other MAs may be way more senior than us or there may be others in our department who were ahead of us or who are "relatively" better but just the same, we have every right to enjoy the fruits or full benefits of our training - regardless of all the brouhaha and whatever factor - both subjective and objective - that one can concoct or think of. Otherwise, it's going to be their loss - not mine.
Someone asked me what will make me stay. As of this writing, I don't think anything can and will make me stay – not even a promotion or a raise. At this point, I couldn't care less what other people will make out of my decision. I don't care about those raised eyebrows anymore. I guess I've passed that stage already. I really don't see the point of staying when I no longer see myself growing and when the goals I've established at the onset are no longer achievable. Maybe I was just expecting too much out of all this and or maybe I'm just in a rush to want things to happen right away. Ang akin lang kasi, whichever side you look at it, we have the training already safely tucked under our names and that was what supposedly will give us the "edge". There are those who will argue that all the other MAs may be way more senior than us or there may be others in our department who were ahead of us or who are "relatively" better but just the same, we have every right to enjoy the fruits or full benefits of our training - regardless of all the brouhaha and whatever factor - both subjective and objective - that one can concoct or think of. Otherwise, it's going to be their loss - not mine.
I Did It!
Monday, September 25, 2006
Yes, I've finally graduated from AIG Consumer Finance Group's Managament Associate Program aka Camp David. It's officially over and done with. I did it. I feel good and I feel relieved. It feels as if a huge truckload of pressure has been lifted off my shoulder. I had my final presentation piece this morning. It was by far the biggest presentation I've ever done - on my own. Not even our final presentation in Hong Kong (for the Regional execs) last year could even surpass this feat. I worked my butt off for this. I worked real hard. I went through a whole lot of shit just to get by. Buti nalang it went pretty well. I think I could have performed better though but okay na rin kasi I was expecting for the worst talaga. I'm happy because all the feedbacks that we got from both local and regional exceuctives were all positive so I'll take it as a good sign. Sabi ko nga, the future looks rosy for me. Maybe I'm still on a high but really the sun is starting to shine on my side. You should have seen me last week. I was so sabog. Some people in the office even commented that our faces look more "aliwalas" na daw compared to last week. I'm just so glad to have come this far. It wasn't easy but at least ngayon alam ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko pala.
Come Again?
Saturday, September 09, 2006
I don't see the point of listening to all the crap a person has to say to me, most especially if I've already heard it not just once or twice but for God knows how long. I mean, it's the same crap time and again. (1) I really don't want to participate in all the cursing and shouting. I don't curse to begin with and I was never a shouter anyway. (2) I just don't want to argue anymore. I'm tired of having to defend myself all the time – I sound like a broken record na nga at times. (3) What for if the other person refuses to listen? It's impossible to talk to close minded people as they already have their own pre-conceived notions and judgments. Your opinions wouldn't really matter anymore because everything falls on deaf ears. It's always their way and no other way. (4) I don't want to be part of their negative vibe. There's just too much anger and bitterness that it saps the energy right out of me. Sometimes it's just not worth it to go through all the trouble and hassle because I only end up irritated, frustrated and with a very bad day. So rather than going head to head, I stepped back and made all the effort to keep my mouth tightly shut. I purposely zoned out as I let the other person do all the yapping - as in nothing really registered to me and it felt good. I don't want to get affected with all the negative things being hurled at me. I don't want to bother explaining myself either. So from now on, they can say what they want to say. Kebs na ako. Basta ako...
It's less tiring this way.
