Injured

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes. I saw the sign. It wasn't what I was hoping for but it is what it is. I don't want to make lame excuses or rationalizations; neither am I going into defense or denial mode because it would only make the whole 'asking for a sign' process utterly pointless. I asked for a sign, I waited and I got it. It was make or break for me, the moment of truth. To me, it was a simple choice - either you want to or you don't. Yeah there must be some kind of explanation. There's always an explanation, right? For a while there, I almost felt the sincerity. I wanted to believe. Albeit injured, I was putting on the bravest face that I possibly could. But yesterday morning was just all too much to bear. Why did you have to add salt to the injury when it hurt like hell already? Sadness.

Rigodon

Monday, June 29, 2009

New floor plan at the office. New seating arrangements. Kinda new neighbors. Semi new environment. There's a different feel to the workplace - for now. Sort of like transferring to a new house. Yeah that kind of feeling.  Hmmm....I kind of like the newness of everything.

I'm so welcoming any change at this point. 

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Acceptance is key.

Test

We both failed our tests. But at least, we have our answers now. Loud and clear it was.

Upgrade

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I'm finally making the switch. No more looooooong start ups and shut downs. No more computer hang ups. No more anti-virus updates. No more crashes. Hopefully it's as good as it's supposed to be.

With 2.8 Ghz Processor, 500 GB Hard Drive and 4 GB Memory, say hello to my brand new Macbook Pro! Me like.

Special thanks to my mom and dad. Loveeet. :)

Breathe Slow

Friday, June 26, 2009

I'm running out of patience
'Cause I can't believe what the hell I'm hearing
And speaking of hell, it don't compare to this heat
That I am feeling

I love you too much, it shows
All my emotions go out of control
Good for you, bad for me
When I can hardly see from the tears that flow

Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'Cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before I lose it get composure

I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'Cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure

Not gonna lie or even try
You've got my wheel spinning
And I ain't the one to shoot the gun
'Cause that means you will be winning

I love you too much, it shows
All my emotions go out of control
Good for you, bad for me
When I can hardly see from the tears that flow

Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'Cause ladies take it in and get composure
Before I lose it get composure

I am gonna breathe slow
Count from one to ten with my eyes closed
'Cause ladies take it in and get composure
Ladies never lose composure

Somebody better hold me back
You're lucky, I know how to act
So lucky I ain't gonna attack

I'm being calm and cool
But believe me you, it's taking everything to just breathe
Breathe, breathe...

Untitled

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I lost my transformers date. :(

Maybe this is the sign that I've been waiting for?

I probably got my sign now.

Maybe it's time to move on. No turning back.

It feels like there's nothing left to hold on to anyway. If the person doesn't care anymore, why even bother?

I'm not going to bother anymore. I don't even want to take a crack at friendship for now.

Sigh, all good things do come to an end....

Typing Maniac

I am now hooked on Facebook's Typing Maniac. It's like the return of the Typing Tutor - with a twist!

Now...if I can only get this laptop of mine to work faster. Grrr...nasisira momentum ko eh. Hahaha. As if.

LSS

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm currently addicted to these 2 songs right now...

1. Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone
2. Alesha Dixon's Breathe Slow

Sad noh? I know.

At least it has a nice tune to it.

SL

I've been sick for the last 2 1/2 days already. Hirap din magkasakit ah. It's no fun because you pretty much can't do anything at all. I'm immobilized by the lack of energy thereof. Moreso, all the (A)H1N1 news is making me a tad bit paranoid. My dad too seems paranoid because he's constantly checking up on me with my meds. No cause for alarm though because I'm feeling much better today. It must be the ice cream I had at last Sunday's buffet. I think I had too much ice cream. My sister says takaw tingin daw kasi ako, tsk tsk tsk. What can I say...I can't say no to ice cream. There's always room for dessert lalo na for ice cream! Hihihihi :D So ayun...too much ice cream = itchy throat, non-stop coughing, clogged nose, aching body and slight fever (i.e., I feel hot). Well the fever part, we haven't really established yet. Since my mom is out of the country, no one actually knows how to read/interpret the thermometer; although my sister claims she knows how hehe. As per my sister, the thermometer reads 37.4 with a disclaimer that we might have to change the thermometer because this one that we're using might be broken already, lol.

Anyways, I think I'm okay now but my dad says I shouldn't go to work pa rin tomorrow. In as much as I think I have to get back to work already, I still have to get clearance from my dad. I got into trouble before for going to work despite my being sick and my parents telling me not to go to work. Martyr daw! Hehe so we'll see...

Trivia: Have you ever wondered why the color pink for the Metro? Pink is used by MMDA to signify that the city is in the pink of health. So there...may reason naman pala. Ay sush hehe.

Knocked Down

Saturday, June 20, 2009

"Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down.

Just get back up when it knocks you down."

- Keri Hilson's Knock You Down (feat. Kanye West and Neyo)

Moving Forward

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

From Gossip Girl's Valley Girl Episode...

"No one has all the answers and sometimes the best we can do is just apologize and let the past be the past. Other times, we need to look to the future and know that even if we think we've seen it all, life can still surprise us and we can still surprise ourselves."

Limits

Why do I even bother?

Maybe at some point, I should just stop trying.

Got 2 Believe

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I just have to open my mind, listen to my heart, and believe that love is (still) out there...

Usi

No more stalking. It's unhealthy. Haha.

Tired

Monday, June 15, 2009

Sometimes I care too much.

Damn it.

Mondays

Sunday, June 14, 2009

"If the week passed didn't end up the way you planned it, remember...

GOD created Saturday for you to unwind, Sunday to recharge, and Monday to start anew."

Ang bilis ng long weekend. Monday na naman. Happy Week Ahead! :)

Kebs Notes

1. Less expectations = Less disappointments. No more expectations for me. I'm only setting myself up for more disappointments. Kebs na ako. Bahala na.

2. Less talk = Less trouble. Not unless it's something that I feel so strongly about, I should just zip it. As per experience, it's just not worth the trouble. Kebs.

3. Less comparison = Less stress and discontentment. So what if someone else is prettier, smarter or doing better than I am? I'm no superwoman but surely we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Our basis for our success should not depend on how well others did - as often is the case. Our efforts will never be good enough because someone's bound to be bigger, better and brighter. Kebs to the world. MYOB dapat. We are our own benchmarks.

4. Less emotions = Less hurt. Better to detach and stay unaffected nalang. Basta back to being kebs!

5. Sometimes it's better to NOT know nalang. Sabi nga nila, ignorance is bliss. So kebs it is.

Me Chillax

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I'm so looking forward to the long weekend; not that I have anything exciting planned though. Wahaha.

Matter of factly, I'm so looking forward to chilling at home lang. Catch up on some of my tv shows AND! finish Breaking Dawn na. I just started last week and so far it's keeping me glued. I was kinda bored with New Moon and it took me several months to finish Eclipse. I must say, nothing beats Twilight pa rin. I've started reading again so that should be a positive thing, right? Next up on my list are Blink, The Tipping Point and Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Reading is kinda like my pause button now. It temporarily keeps my mind off overanalyzing and overemotional thoughts.

I'm also going to train for badminton. So yey! I can't wait to play like a pro na. Er, too ambitious. Like a regular nalang muna. Hehe.

I also plan to resume my driving lessons. So another yey! I have to focus on my reverse and then parking! Sana tuloy tuloy na. Although I'm pretty sure it'll take 10 years of practice before my dad will ever let me drive as in drive.

Thank God for the long weekend. Yey to the Nth power Yey! Hehe OA.

Despite the rough road ahead of me, I realize that, at the end of the day, I still have a whole lot more to be thankful for and that is what matters.

Unfinished Past

I stumbled upon an unfinished entry saved as draft. As per the date/time stamp, I wrote this last 10/04/08, 8:35 PM...

There are doubts and uncertainties - definitely. I often worry and think too much about the future; not knowing where things will go from here.

And now that I finally have enough courage to make a decision...

-----------------------------

I can't remember the specific circumstances surrounding the abovementioned thoughts; although I do recall having felt the doubts and uncertainties. Anyhow...I never really had the courage - then. It was only recently that I was able to muster enough courage to actually act on it. It wasn't a spur of the moment kind of decision. I think I had valid reasons now; unlike before, nothing made sense at all - logically speaking, that is. Nonetheless, it still wasn't an easy decision to make. It was still something that I had to push myself to do. I'm having mixed and confusing emotions right now. Albeit it did give me some sort of relief in the sense that I didn't have to deal with it anymore, I also feel sad and disappointed that it has come to this. I believe in my heart that we are waaaaaaaay better than this. Ganun talaga siguro pero no regrets sana. I don't think I can ever be certain about the choices I make. Doubts and uncertainties still fill my heart and thoughts. I can only hope for better days ahead.

Stuck Again

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

You've got to get yourself together. You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it. Don't say that later will be better now. You're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it.

And if the night runs over. And if the day won't last. And if your way should falter. Along the stony pass. It's just a moment. This time will pass.

Rainbow

Monday, June 08, 2009

Sometimes, maybe we just have to condition our minds and/or hearts to get used to that painful feeling, that unwanted change, that uncontrollable circumstance, that broken promise, that bitter truth, that sad reality or that disappointing ending. And eventually through time, wounds will be healed and we will be okay again.

Even if there is pain now

Everything will be alright

For as long as the world still turns

There will be night and day

Can you hear me?

There's a rainbow always

After the rain

The rain is pouring real hard on my end right now. I'm still waiting for my rainbow to come. I'm hopeful. Still hopeful. I don't want to force or rush things. No pressures. In God's time right place, right time. I'll just have to keep the faith for now.